Culinary Hags in London

CAFE EAST - Re-Opened!!!

2009-04-19T22:42:00.001+01:00

100 Redriff Rd
Surrey Quays
SE16 7LH
Telephone: 0208 691 7777

Opening times:
Mon - Fri:
12:00 pm - 2:00 pm
5:30 pm - 10:30 pm
Sat - Sun:
11:00 am - 10:00 pm

Fantastic news for everyone who thought Cafe East had died a quick death and forgot to send everyone an invite. We for one, were fully prepared to go into Pho whithdrawal and were managing the symptoms with diluted Kingsland Rd substitutes. On 11 April 2009 Chris re-opened in the above place and now has a Facebook loyalty page. Good onya Chris! We fully support you and believe this one will be even more of a success than the original. Hopefully via this blog the word of Cafe East's resurrection will spread furiously to all those in mourning. We will visit and update our opinions for the finest establishment for Pho in London soon. (BTW Westfield's Pho sucks big time...don't waste your time lining up for that rubbish.)
P.S. Chris - it sure would be nice to get recognition for the Facebook photos...they look very familiar...

ORIENTAL CANTEEN

2007-08-04T11:22:00.000+01:00

2a Exhibition Rd. South Kensington. SW7 2HF

Phone: 020 7581 8831

Nearest Tube: South Kensington

Location Location Location. Man this tiny corner restaurant has it good. Walking distance from South Kensington tube and a net catcher for any Imperial College student. Wish I had this kind of place as a university student. Wished I owned a place like this.

I can’t emphasise enough how tiny this place is. You can probably fit less than 20 patrons upstairs and just a few more downstairs. Etiquette is pretty much you share your table if needed and you order fast, eat fast and then get the hell outta there. Not a joint to languish and linger in. Nor is it a place where you can stroll up in a wheelchair or a pram. It's just too tiny.

They serve a mix of Cantonese and Malaysian food. I wouldn’t say that their roasted duck rice or crispy salted pork are the crème de la crème of what London has to offer. But it’s good value (around a fiver) and good portions.

Char Kway Teow is pretty authentic (still like the Selfridges one better). The curry laksa is alright only. Not rich enough for my liking. (Don't you hate it when sometimes you can actually taste curry powder in the soup?) But a worthy contender I guess if you have a bit of a crave. Char sui (roasted pork) is good – but how can you go wrong?

They have heaps of other dishes of course. Most of them are of them are stir-fried noodles or rice with your choice of meat. But if it’s ala carte you’re after, then you can order individual dishes with rice on the side. By the way, the vegetables are hideously expensive…£7 for a small dish of gai lan (Chinese greens).

So if you’re after a cheap eat, in a hurry and not too bothered about getting your vege intake for the day…and you’re in the area…Oriental Canteen is your best bet.

HRH

EKACHAI

2007-07-29T20:33:00.000+01:00

Unit 205, 1st Floor
Southside Shopping Centre
Wandsworth. SW18 4TE

Ph: 0208 8871 3888

Opening Hours: Sun to Thurs 11am – 10:30pm
Fri and Sat 11am – 11pm

Parking: To get free parking, spend over £10 at Waitrose or see a movie after 7pm.

Website: Ekachai

There’s another branch at Ekachai City
9-10 Arcade
Liverpool street
London EC2M 7PN
Mon-Fri 11-10pm
sat-sun closed

I simply can’t believe where we’re finding good Malaysian/Chinese food nowadays. First it was in Selfridges, and now before we were going to see the movie Transformers in the Southside Shopping Centre, Wandsworth. A fluke really. We had the choice between McDonalds, Nandos, Pizza Hut or this place called Ekachai. We thought what the hell, we’ll give Ekachai a whirl. We wanted something quick, filling and hopefully edible. Ekachai more than delivered.

As soon as you enter you get the Wagamama vibe. Wide tables with benches for seats and an open-plan kitchen. “Oh crap,” I thought “Another try-hard quasi-euroasian chain”. Between us we ordered the char kway teow, Singapore noodles, beef hor-fun Cantonese style and penang laksa.

Our lychee drinks arrived promptly and practically less than 10 minutes after ordering our food arrived simultaneously. Huge portions. Good.

Hard to make us Culinary Hags impressed these days. But impressed we were and chuffed at finding a Malaysian/Chinese joint within driving distance without having to trek all the way to London centre.

The Singapore noodles (£5.50) and char kway teow (£5.50) were pretty close to the real mc coy. Both with generous servings of fresh prawns. My beef hor-fun (£5.50) was always very close to what you can get at say Four Seasons in Bayswater. The beef certainly wasn’t the tenderest I’ve eaten, but I thoroughly enjoyed it just the same.
The penang laksa (£5.90) is more curry-coconut based, not thick, but light and quite flavoursome. In the laksa are fishcakes, prawns, squid, crabsticks and a boiled egg.

You can see the rest of the menu from their website. A hodge-podge of food mainly Malaysian, Cantonese (including some dim sum dishes like siu mai, har kau, glutinous rice in lotus leaf), Thai (Thai beef salad, Tom Yum prawn noodles).
The cooks and staff all seem to be Chinese possibly from Malaysia. We Hags will definitely check out the rest of the menu to make sure it wasn’t a fluke.

HRH

SREE KRISHNA

2007-07-23T21:42:00.000+01:00

192-194 Tooting High Street
Tooting
SW17 0SF

Telephone: 0208 6724250 or 0208 6726903

Nearest Tube: Tooting Broadway or Colliers Wood

Website: Sree Krishna

Sree Krishna claims to be the oldest South Indian restaurant in South Indian (1973). Sick of Tandoori and other northern Indian specialities we headed there for a breath of fresh curry.

Never…I repeat never...venture to Sri Krishna if you’re starving to the point of murder or in a huge rush to catch the latest Bollywood extravaganza. You will wait…not because it’s busy…I’m not even sure of the reason. The extraordinary wait tends to occur between the starters and main course.

For starters I like the Masala Dosai (rice and lentil flour pancake filled with potato masala)…light and delicate served with a delicious light curry side. ₤3.50

I have a feeling they specialize mainly in vegetarian food although they do serve a wide range of meat and seafood curries. Their vegetarian curries were fresh, with a bite and best of all, not languishing in oil. One of the few Indian restaurant I can get my intake of essential “5 a day”without worrying about limp, over-nuked veges.

The Lamb biriyani ₤5.50 is a must. Not a huge fan before, now I see the light and am converted. So rich and flavoursome, clearly made with care and attention…generous in tender pieces of lamb. A meal in itself and a dish worth fighting over for.

It was reassuring to see that our experience was endorsed by a number of large Indian families enjoying themselves as well. Even better that nearly all the dishes are alarmingly good value. For four of us with lassi, we clocked up just over ₤12 per person and were thoroughly stuffed, sleepy and satisfied.

HRH

FOOD GARDEN CAFÉ AT SELFRIDGES

2007-07-23T19:44:00.000+01:00

4th Floor Selfridges
400 Oxford St
London
W1A 2LR

Opening times:

Monday 09.30 - 21.00
Tuesday 09.30 - 21.00
Wednesday 09.30 - 21.00
Thursday 09.30 - 21.00
Friday 09.30 - 21.00
Saturday 09.30 - 21.00
Sunday 11.30 - 18.15

Closest Tube: Bond Steet or Marble Arch

If I told you that one of the best Char Kway Teow’s I’ve had in London was in Selfridge’s – well, you would probably throw me in the darkest dungeon and throw away the key. I swear it’s true and this is coming from a sceptic…even from the moment I stepped towards the Oriental counter and arched one doubting eyebrow at the menu.

The way it works with the stir fry noodles and indeed with the soup dishes is that you choose the type of noodle you desire (egg noodles, white rice noodles, vermicelli) and the type of meat (chicken, seafood, red meat) and then dictate the style of dish (char kway teow, thai style…sorry I really can’t remember the rest).

A Chinese chef casually joked away in Mandarin with his colleague whilst they both cooked our dishes from scratch before our eyes with nonchalant speed. Huge woks on flaming gas burners…essential for a great char kway teow. Huge fresh prawns were used and generously given.

I could have been starving but the result was gorgeous. I’ve eaten char kway teow in Penang at a famous hawker stall and this comes quite close. Although those who like it with clams will be slightly miffed. Not cheap at around 7.50 but well worth it if you happen to be there anyway.

My hubby had the seafood curry laksa, again cooked from scratch using a paste. I wouldn’t rate it highly, as I do like my curry laksa to be quite rich and artery clogging – but not bad.

The other counters looked good – Western, Indian etc. The Indian counter offered a vegetarian and non-vegetarian thali (selection of 5 dishes served with rice, daal and naan served on a metallic platter). Looked great and we saw heaps of Asian people tucking into these. Must try it next time.

HRH

CAFE EAST TO GO ON HOLIDAY

2007-07-17T12:16:00.000+01:00

Very sad news indeed...but everyone needs a break.

Cafe East will be closed from the 31st July 2007 for 5 weeks whilst they recharge their batteries.

Don't worry they will be back and business as normal.

Spacca Napoli

2007-05-27T23:10:00.000+01:00

101 Dean Street
London
W1 3TG

Website: Spacca Napoli

Okay - its been nearly a year since this hag has posted anything on this blog. Sheer lazyness I tell ya, coupled with personal and professional changes (i.e. not being able access blogger at work etc - not that I'm slacking boss - really!) I guess. But enough digression, its time I made my comeback. A place so worthy a mention that its dragged my sorry behind out to actually put fingers to keyboard. So here it is - I give you Spacca Napoli - Italian pizzeria, restaurant extraodinaire! Okay, perhaps I'm exaggerating a little but this place was pretty good.

London is a treasure trove of Italian restaurants - you can't go anywhere without running into one. Which is the best? Everyone has their favourite locals and favourite not so locals. If you're around Oxford Circus/Soho, make the trek - its well worth it. We arrived on a Saturday night at 8pm to an already crowded restaurant and left with queues out the door in the rain. This place isn't such a secret as we thought so I guess bookings are advisable.

Now to the food - unfortunately, as it was an impromptu visit, no camera action was to be had. Plus, it was a wet day and both the Man and I were wet, grumpy and hungry. Hardly a conducive environment to think about you good folks out there - we wanted food, goddammit and we wanted it now! So after browsing the menu, starters of Antipasti Misto and mussels in a tomato sauce.

Both startes arrived in good time and now it dawned on us why the waitress was looked surprised that we'd ordered a couple of starters instead of sharing. The antipasti consisted of grilled vegetables, mushrooms with garlic, cured salmon, some meatballs in tomato sauce and a grilled aubergine with cheese. All delicious and very moreish.

The mussels was served with two small slices of garlic bread. Be warned, If you're on a first date and love your mussels, bring an extra strong dose of mints - there's enough garlic here to ensure that you'll have garlicy sweating through your pores the next day. This dish, if had with extra bread, is probably enough feed a normal appetite and was lip smackingly good. On a cold and wet night such as this, it definitely hit the spot. And the good news was our mains were yet to come. As we were teased by the excellent starters, the anticipation and expectation of our mains grew. And they didn't disappoint.

The Man's italian colleagues raved about the pizzas in this place. Just like what they have at home, so with that in mind we had to have a pizza. One of their specials with mozzerella, aubergine and sausage but unlike the traditional pizza, this was more a sandwich pizza. I forget the name but just ask one of the friendly waitresses (mostly italian speaking, if you're so inclined) and they'll be more than happy to help. It came on a wooden serving board and is enough for 2 to share or one enormous appetite. Or if you're in a group, you can order pizza by the length - from a quarter to three quarters of metre (where you get to pick 2 to 4 types of pizzas) to share.

Despite us being seated in a dark, dusty corner not once did we feel banished and inconsequential but rather service was attentive and helpful. Plus, we had a great view of their professional pizza maker transforming lifeless lumps of white dough into golden, lucious bites. I don't think I can say more.

TOH

AWANA

2007-05-09T15:56:00.000+01:00

85 Sloane Avenue, LondonSW3 3DX
Tel: 020 7584 8880
Fax: 020 7584 6188

Website: Awana

We had been wanting to try Awana for such a long time. The only turn-off being the hefty price tag attached to their ala carte dishes. I'm sorry. Let me explain.

Half of my family is from Malaysia and a husband to boot. Nothing beats sitting down on makeshift rickety benches, maybe on the roadside, with the sun beating down and the humidity saturating your undies to your skin, flies swarming whilst you slurp down your favourite hawker's bowl of steaming spicy har mee, Ipoh hor fun or chicken laska. Or maybe Hainnese chicken rice or char kway teow followed by a refreshing bowl of iced cendol or ice kachang. All watched closely by a mangey stray malnourished cat pacing and meowing impatiently for scraps.

The point being that these hawkers cook day after day, with recipes passed down from generation to generation, undiluted in quality and in taste. The price you pay? Most times less than a pound, and very affordable for the locals. Some of these hawker stalls are legendary and so popular with the locals, we often suspect, despite their dressed down demeanour and carefree attitude, with a lot of undeclared cash, they probably do drive back to their mansions in a suped up mercedes.

So this brings us back to Awana. I was curious what a £22 char kway teow would taste like (with lobster, no less). After reading their website, they claim to be inspired by Malaysian "street food". In fact Lee Chin Soon, the head chef, crafted his skill in Penang and Lankawai and honed his art based on the traditonal hawker stalls.

Only when a Toptable special came up offering 50% off all food ordered I pounced on it. Either now or never. Coincidentally we also used this opportunuity to celebrate my husband's birthday. On this accord, it did not disappoint - a great place for a celebration.

As soon as you enter Awana, you get the sense that you're in for something special. Very chic, sophisticated...uber cool. We sat down for delicious cocktails (around £8) and then proceeded to a spectacularly set round table for 10. The wine glasses were so huge they practically took up most of the dining space. This led us to our first dilema...do we order seperately as in a western meal? Or do we order to share? We looked around. Yup looks like sharing is not encouraged.

We each ordered an entree and a main. I won't harp on each dish mainly because I simply can't remember. (Uh oh...danger sign for me when dishes aren't rememberable). I will tell you about the ones which did embed in my conscience...good or bad. The Pemaiuri scallops (grilled queen scallops with lime leaf, lemongrass and chili £8) looked impressive. I'm sick of the times scallops are presented to you in inhalable proportions. Can't tell you about the taste as I didn't have it, but my friend did give an orgasmic seal of approval.

Have to talk about the £22 seafood and lobster char kway teow. Would be admiss not to. It was impressive, with meaty lobster in its shell and massive king prawns, scallops and squid. No skimping on quality here. Yes it was delicious but something was missing. It wasn't so terrible that it was a rendition of soy sauce with rice noodles tossed with lashing of expensive seafood. But I would still rather have a traditional Malayian char kway teow than this fluffed up version. Maybe they should have fried it with melted pork fat as they do on the streets.

The Kari Ayam (corn fed chicken curry with coconut, potatoes and snake beans £13.50), I thought was too sanitised for my liking. No chicken on bone at all, just fillets. Corn fed or not, I like my chicken curry to have bone in there. Gives it texture and flavour. Big disappointment and couldn't really see the point of eating it.

The rest of the dishes were quite good. Tasty, palatable...not the best I've eaten by any means...otherwise I would write about them all to let you know. I simply can't remember enough. But mind you, halfway through the meal we were all quite jolly after the bottles of wine constantly plied upon us by the very attentive staff.

Their dessert menu is quite impressive as well. Traditional Malaysian desserts for £6 each. Yes I know, £6 ain't expensive but I know most of these desserts are quite easy to make and can be whipped up in no time with inexpensive ingredients. Most of us opted for the homemade ice cream with intriguing flavours such as ginger and chrythsathenum, and the usual green tea and durian. A very nice end to the meal.

Despite the 50% discount, we all still did take a sharp intake when we saw the bill. Still over £50 per person including drinks. Gosh we must have ordered quite a few bottles!

Despite all of my sniping, it still was a great meal and occasion. Awana's staff offered imaculate service and the ambience was buzzing with diner's enjoying themselves (were they on the Toptable special too?) You pay for the location (Chelsea), attention to the service and quality and of course the spectacular setting of a Maylasian teak house. Would I go again? No. Simply as there is no value for money at all. I know that's not what Awana is all about. But I still stick by my constant mantra - if you don't see a restaurant filled with patrons of a similar origin, there is probably a good reason why.

Carve-Ups

2006-12-13T15:34:00.000Z

Whenever I write a review, I always worry (the constant worrier that I am) that I was too harsh, too critical, too…judgemental. After all, peoples livelihoods depend on (well not on the Hags reviews) what other people think and publish. Well I worry no more.

Michelle Lovric emailed me about a month ago and sent me a copy of her new book “Carve-Ups”. It is hilarious. I say this without bias, although I did receive a free book out of it.

It isn’t a novel about food. Rather it is a collection of rather imaginative quotes by food critics – unleashed, without an ounce of restraint or civility.

Quotes range from the as early as the 1890’s (and earlier):

Damn to hell both the recipe and the person who wrote it

Pellegrino Artusi on fying salt cod in The Art of Eating Well.

To the more recent (this one makes me laugh as it is one restaurant I am or was contemplating on trying):

The otak-otak, a set fish pate steamed in lime leaves…was as close to a man
should get to sucking a fishmonger’s insole.

Gile Coren on a dish at Awana, London.

Anyway looks like I have to lift my game. This little book does inspire me to conjure up more imaginative ways to say how minging the food or service is. Ahhhh...life's little pleasures.

HRH

What to do with Asbach?...Rudesheimer Coffee

2006-12-13T13:03:00.000Z

I had the pleasure of visiting friends in Frankfurt during my travels of late and was taken to this little town on the Rhine called Rudesheim about an hour drive out of the city. Here, my friends introduced me to the famous liqueur coffee, a concoction advertised on signs at the tourist eateries in town. After trying it, I can only report that I am impartial to it, but then I have not had that many liqueur coffees in my life time. For fans of a hot cocktail, with all the majesty of fire, cream and chocolate, here is the recipe, give it a go!

At least as famous as the Coffee itself is the liqueur Asbach, produced in the area, is the key ingredient. See www.asbach.de

Ingredients:
3 sugar cubes
4 cl Asbach
Hot coffee
Whipped cream
Vanilla sugar
Grated dark chocolate

Method:
1. Put 3 cubes of sugar in a cup (or in an 'original' Rudesheimer Coffee cup), pour over 4 cl well-heated Asbach and light.
2. Stir and allow to burn for about one minute.
3. Pour in hot coffee and fill to about 2cm below the rim.
4. Place a scoop of whipped cream sweetened with vanilla sugar on top.
5. Sprinkle with grated dark chocolate.
6. Enjoy the hot delight through the cool cream.

OR for the Cold Delight

Ingredients:
4 cl Asbach
3 scoops Vanilla ice cream
Sweetened and cooled coffee
Whipped cream
Vanilla sugar
Grated dark chocolate

Method:
1. Pour 4 cl Asbach over the vanilla ice cream.
2. Pour in iced coffee and fill up to just below the rim.
3. Top with a scoop of whipped cream sweetened with vanilla sugar.
4. Sprinkle with grated dark chocolate.
5. Serve with a straw and spoon.

And what can I report of Rudesheim itself?... with vineyards wrapping the shores of the Rhine and the setting sun splashing its golden rays over the picture perfect landscape...need I say more than just autumn at its loveliest that I have seen in a long time.

Perth Hag.

Imli - Mandarin's Baby Sister

2006-12-02T09:53:00.000Z

It's the Perth hag again, just a quickie post although this place is worth more than just a brief mention. I shall try to keep it short.

I love Asian food, but if you're ever one to think twice about going because you wished your glad rags didn't smell like Vindaloo while on your way to the poshness of Cafe de Paris or similar, then this is your place.

Located walking distance to Piccadilly Circus but closest to Tottenham Court Road tube, I arrived to be greeted with fresh modern decor, brightly lit with enough mood lighting in the room not to mistake being in a hospital canteen and even at 6.30pm, there were already a few guests dining.

I had found Imli in Toptable. Search criteria being close to West End, open pre-theatre, with good vegetarian selection and the obligatory 'good value'. Having read that this premise was affiliated with Mandarin which I'm told is the only Michelin starred Indian Restaurant. I had the utmost pleasure of dining here several years past when I was still on training wheels when it came to Indian food, I was overwhelmingly compelled to try Imli out.

I was not disappointed. Though we only had under one hour to eat, we opted for the set menu (the 2 for 1 special) at GBP25 plus 12.5% service for 2 persons. We were attentively asked if any of us would like a vegetarian option and one of our party said yes. I was completely confused as to how this was going to work when 1 out of 4 of us dining would be presented with the vegetarian selection and meals were to be shared.

The dishes started coming out in small shapely platters, well presented and indeed with a 1 person portion of vegetarian alternatives of the meat dishes on the menu. The menu included Corianda vadi, Bulgar Bean salad, Tilapia Amritsari, Papdi Chat, Chicken Dhungar, Kheema Mushroom, Goan Pork, Bhaji, Yellow lentils with green chillies and garlic, all served with rice.

After the table was alive with colours and flavours, the staff kindly offered to have our bill ready for our rapid departure.

Quick, tasty, reasonable value with the special (at least on par with your neighbourhood curry house) but smack in town and you don't smell like one afterwards - savings on the cleaning bill)!! Most definitely go again.

Taiwan Village with the Perth Hag

2006-11-20T22:32:00.000Z

It's been over 1.5 years since this hag departed London for the shores of Western Australia. After 2 months in South America, I visited the original culinary hags in London. They took me to Taiwan Village.

It was a Saturday night, meeting up with friends for a feast and catch up. I was told to expect lots of food and was overwhelmed even with the warning.

On this cool October night, the walk to the restaurant was as unsafe as the HRM felt the last time. Upon entering the restaurant, the impression of ambience, white tablecloths all confirmed the HRH's initial observations. The only omission was the decorative wooden panels used as partitions.

On a previous visit, the HRH had selected the seafood banquet. So this time we ordered the normal banquet. HRH comments that the difference is not that significant.

Soup was meat ball in a tasty broth served in a bamboo cup. Then the onslaught of entrees arrived. A variety of seafood, meat and the famous beans fried in a light tempura batter. This was a favourite. After about 5 lashings of starters, I was reminded that these were just entress. After a deep sigh and a short break the main courses arrived.

A whole fish, meat and seafood stir fried with vegetables, served with rice. Unfortunately, the dishes tasted quite similar. Towards the end we didn't know whether it was beef, lamb, chicken or pork that we were eating.

Accompanied with a very good white wine it was an enjoyable evening with service at exactly the right time but with swiftness that you hardly notice they're there.

This second visit only confirms the good value, tasty food using fresh ingredients. However, if it's a smorgasbord of flavours that you're after you'll find the chef's menu a bit lacking. Perhaps try the alacarte menu. Must agree with the HRH, it will be a while before the next visit.

Perth Hag.

PLEASE DON'T FORGET US!

2006-09-11T15:17:00.000+01:00

One might be forgiven in thinking that the two Hags had become trapped under some particularly heavy IKEA furniture (how else do Londoners furnish their homes?), tried desperately to survive on tumbleweeds of dust and then demised leaving a legacy of a food blog that never quite made it.

No quite. Close…but no cigar.

I just received an email today from a cowboy wanting to buy our blog for $20! Preposterous! He did say it wasn’t much but at least it would buy us a couple of beers! Humph! This blog will never be sold dammit!

The last few months….OK, year has brought upon tumultuous change. The Other Hag has been working furiously at her job slurping up all the overtime chi-chiing! I and my hubby have just bought a new place and all the hidden delights that come along with it. My days and nights (IKEA open up till midnight!) have merged into a hunting expedition for the right flooring, the right lights, the right in-built cupboard, the right plumber etc..I won’t bore you.

I know I know, I should be more consumed with taste testing morsels all around London. I do hear ya. But right now I feel I should be delighting you with how to build a wet room, how to deal with dodgy plumbers, how not to erect an IKEA tall cupboard (not laying flat, that’s for sure!).

We are just so TIRED. This project is certainly very time-consuming and draining on the energy stores. I do enjoy it. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Sarah Beeny IS my idol. But I will look forward to the time we can pad around our new flat with its new kitchen and bathroom and refocus on Culinary Hags. (I never thought I would say this…but I am sick to death of Korean instant udon noodles!)

Oh and by the way, we have been getting a number of comments on C & R in Bayswater telling us that a number of you do enjoy the food. I just don’t get it. We ate there 3 weeks ago and it was terrible! The air con blasting didn't help either.

Anyway…won’t promise but we will try to get back to the reviews soon.

HRH

CULINARY HAG’S FOOD FORUM

2006-05-20T00:15:00.000+01:00

There are only two of us. How the hell are we going to review every nook and cranny in London with just the two of us?

Obstacles:

1) London is massive
2) We ain’t rich. Eating out constantly will seriously dent our bank accounts
3) Scientific trials have proven that eating consistently good food will morph you into a lard ball.

Fact: Two of Us. Over seven million Londoners.

We are always approached by family and friends who say, “I know this great place, you should put it on your blog…”

If every single Londoner knows of just one great place, one cherished local, one family-run down-to-earth joint serving honest good food…that’s a helluva lot of hot-spots. Combine all of that knowledge in one spot…and voila! We have a community of food lovers sharing their passion for stupendous nosh and slosh.

It also gives our readers a chance to have their say. We Hags might consider a certain place to have the best sushi train in London. If you think, “No way! Those Hags must have asses for tongues! I’ve eaten at that place and I know another place with a much better sushi train!”

Tell us and then we’ll all be able to judge and tell. We encourage healthy debates.

We take our food seriously.

By setting up this food forum we also hope to educate ourselves and others. I know of some people who consider salt and pepper to be exotic spices. I know a lot of people who think that all Chinese food consists of is sweet and sour pork, lemon chicken, spring rolls, Peking duck and that they all use copious amounts of gluggy starch, bamboo shoots and water chestnuts in their cooking. Yeech!

I’m probably guilty of stereotyping other ethnicitys’ food. Why is it when we go into a Korean, Greek, Indian etc restaurant and sit next to a family full of Koreans, Greeks, Indians…the food that they order is totally different from what we order? It always looks better and I’m always jealous. It would be nice if I had the balls to ask them what they are eating. Instead I try to subtly crane my neck to glimpse at what we should be ordering…not what I’m used to ordering. Sigh…

So teach us…teach others…spread the word and benefit from other peoples’ experience and backgrounds. When you recommend a place, it would be nice if you could also include the dishes to try (and maybe to avoid).

This will only work if we all contribute. Share your experience's with others and reap the benefits. Click here to visit the forum.

HRH

CHUEN CHENG KU

2006-05-17T21:05:00.000+01:00

17 Wardour St
Soho, London
W1D 6PN

Tel: 020 7437 1398

Closest Tube: Picadilly Circus or Leceister Square

Average price per head: £16 per head, excluding alcohol

Dim sum restaurants in the heart of Chinatown are two a penny and are often overflowing with eager and hungry patrons, especially on a Sunday. Often its a great fun cathing up with friends for dim sum as the dishes are small and a large selection ensures that everyone gets their favourite. On this occasion, the appalling service and mediocre food served at Chuen Cheng Ku means left a bad taste on the overall experience. The final verdict - pass on this restaurant and head to the Laureate Chinese Restaurant, Golden Dragon or any others in Chinatown, unless rude service and average food is your cup of tea.

The day began like any other, with plans to meet a couple of friends in Chinatown for dim sum for lunch and a catch up. Things started off poorly when our friends who made a reservation arrived early but couldn't be seated as not all the party were arrived yet. This was insisted by the maitre'd, a woman who relished in her own sense of power by forcing customers to wait on the street even though the restaurant was half empty. After much negotiation, our friends were allowed to their table as they were hungry (and we were running a little late) and wanted to order starters.

But, we digress. Once everyone had arrived, food orders were flying. Chueng Cheng Ku is one of the few restaurants who still have the traditional dim sum trolleys, laden with freshly steamed dumplings, and wheeled to each table for your own personal selection. This can be quite a fun and interactive experience as one doesn't have to decipher the menu as some times the English menu translations don't work out too well. However, this restaurant has got a decent english pictorial menu and with a wide range of selections, which is always good. Sadly though, any vegetarians will have to suffer the short straw as there are only a few items on the menu. But for those non-meat-but-eats-seafood folks, you're in luck. Prawns, scallops and fish are popular items.

With the arrival of the food trolley, we proceeded with the usual suspects - steamed prawn dumplings (har kau), steamed pork and prawn dumplings (siew mai), seafood bean curd rolls, steamed pork buns (pau) and also chinese greens with oyster sauce.

As you can see above, there were lots of choices but sadly for us, all was pretty average. The pork and prawn dumplings, although freshly steamed, was very reminiscent of the frozen packet dumplings that one can get at any Oriental supermarket. Similarly, with the prawn dumplings (also sometimes known as Crystal Prawn dumplings), its sad and plastic-ky prawns didn't do anything for the tastebuds. However, it wasn't all bad.

The steamed scallop and prawn dumplings were much better - light and delicate, with smooth steamed pastry. Another favourite is the pork spare ribs with black beans - well, in this case it was more like pork ribs heavy on the fat and light on the black beans. Not exactly visually appealing, nor was it a treat for my tastebuds. And you think that one couldn't go much wrong with steamed greens - but if you look closely enough at the pictures, it was a little overcooked and thus lost quite a bit of flavour.

After polishing off the several bamboo trays of delicacies, it was onwards and upwards to desserts. Mango puddings are generally the favourite, with high expectations of a smooth and firm mango custard. However, looks were deceiving with nary a mango in sight but a rather plain and lacking in mango flavour bowl of pudding stodge. The almond jelly was the opposite - light and refreshing without being overly sweetened. So, on the whole a fairly average dim sum restaurant with the novelty of the traditional dim sum restaurants. With the poor service which was experienced through the whole meal, the table decided to forgo the service charge. This certainly didn't go well with our waiter who returned, expecting us to pay the additional 10% for non existent and rude service. Know your rights folks - service charge is discretionary and never be shy to stand up for your own rights.

On the whole, Chuen Cheng Ku was a fairly average dim sum restaurant but pricier than most. With the number of restaurants offering dim sum, the safer bet would be to head elsewhere. Who needs to pay for average food and poor service?

The Other Hag

CULINARY HAGS IN PRINT

2006-05-15T14:09:00.000+01:00

OK. Not quite. But it's a start. Something tangible to stroke our massive egos perhaps?

Am a bit ashamed to admit that I've never heard of BBC's Olive Magazine. But now that they've mentioned us in May's issue...I think I may even subscribe to them!

How did I know we were mentioned even though I've never heard of the magazine? I'm glad you've asked. Slashfood had a mention as well and posted about it on his/her blog. I learnt all about this one month too late and had to order a back issue for £4. Sigh...

Olive has a Blogwatch section in their magazine and we're ecstatic to say we're mentioned in the same breath as some of the all-time greats in the food-blogging world. Becks and Posh, Jamfaced, Nordljust, Baking for Britain and Gastronomy Domine. Way to go guys!

Blogwatch...Our pick of the most funny, opinionated Brit food blogs...culinaryhags.blogspot.com...these two food lovers eat out and report in...

This blog was lovingly set up last year in March by The Other Hag and myself. This Labour of Love has really fueled our passion and awareness of good food. Not just the predictable Michelin starred ones. We're more interested in the gems lauded and maybe kept under wraps by locals. Gems which actually have to work harder to earn our patronage as they don't have the fortune of a great location in an expensive suburb or a 'celebrity' chef credited to their name. And let's face it. Real people are interested in affordable, tasty nosh where they can relax in the company of others.

Apart from providing great recipes, Olive seems to tend towards the direction we want to go. Great local delis, Italian hideaways kept under wraps, home-grown producers and restaurants recommended by real people. There's heaps more to Olive and hats off to them for providing a foodie magazine I actually want to read!

I think The Other Hag would agree with me that it is always warming and inspiring to read of other people enjoying and actually reading our blog.

Pssst....don't tell anyone...but it is our ultimate dream to eventually have a book published just like Russell Davies. Double sigh...

Cheers Olive!

LA MANCHA

2006-05-10T22:22:00.000+01:00

32 Putney High Street
London SW15, Tel: 020 8780 1022

Opening Hours: Mon-Sun 12N-11pm (Fri-Sat -11.30pm Sun -10.30pm)

Nearest Tube: East Putney or Putney BR

Website: La Mancha

Ear mufflers, sign language crash course, lozenges. Orifice for food to enter in. Another orifice for quick exit.

Yes dear peoples. These are the ingredients needed for this extremely popular Spanish restaurant and tapas bar in Putney.

Every time we go there it is packed to the rafters with chatty (no doubt Sangria drenched) people. I am convinced the night always starts with a noisy table. Then when the next few tables come in, they have to raise their voices a few decibels higher than the first lot to make themselves heard. And so the chain reaction continues. Each table adding on a few more decibels to the one before.

So by the time we get there, it is a bustling mass of yelling happy people…all yelling at each other to make themselves heard.(Can you believe this. I had more success texting my hubby rather than talking to him over the mobile. Texting not much of a success as I hoped, as he was very much smashed.)

I’ve been to a Man Utd game and it was quieter than this. So quiet in fact, that my husband had to muzzle me when I said out loud, “What’s so good about Man Utd anyway. The other team is way better.” (Only a problem when you’re sitting in the Man Utd fan section.)

I was very tempted to bring out a loud speaker and make an announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen sorry to disrupt. Can we all stop talking simultaneously and restart again? Whispering is helpful and we can build from there.”

Yes.

The food I have found has always been quick and reliable. Reliable in that service has been prompt and polite (to a point – they are busy) and food magically appears minutes after you order it.

Sometimes I imagine Spanish oompa loompas (complete with sombreros) in a production line churning out these dishes so fast. I mean. How else?

We had:

Paella Valenciana (fish, shellfish, chicken, pork) - £5.35. A tasty small plate only enough for 2 people. Not authentic but a nice filler.

Pulpo a la Gallega (poached octopus with olive oil and paprika) - £7.50. Highly recommended. Not tough and tasteless. Exactly the contrary. Fresh, tender with just the right hint of paprika.

Berenjendes de verano. Layers of fried aubergines, tomatoes, herbs and cheese - £5.30. Is there any dish that aubergine doesn’t just cosy up to? I’m very pro aubergine at the moment. Down Under we’re used to calling it AN EGGPLANT. Anyway this dish hits the comfort level – something akin to having a lie in on a Sunday morning with just washed sheets with extra soft conditioner. A big to do in our household as our cat Chloe loves to sleep and leave reminders on every single pillow in the flat. (Hair, people.)

Champinones al ajillo – mushrooms sautéed with garlic and chilli £4.55. Champinones don’t marinate that well as a rule, but these were excellent soaking up the garlic flavour.

Patatas ali-oli – fried potato with garlic mayonnaise £3.95. Tortilla Espanola £4.15 – a bit salty. Order only if you crave the carbs.

Vieiras con pancetta – sea scallops rolled in bacon and lobster sauce £6.25. Sounds delish. And it is. Lobster sauce was lost on me. They could have used Chicken Gravox and I wouldn’t have noticed. OK I exaggerate. Point is, I couldn’t taste the lobster.

Sardinas a la plancha – grilled sardines £6.95. Not my fav. Can’t really pin point why. I guess the sardines weren’t small enough to be confident about swallowing all the small bones and head without hacking like a cat with a trapped fur ball. Other friends loved it.

Chorizo Rosario £4.95. Again not a main fav of mine. Why? Just don’t like fatty sausages – especially when the white specks of fat are waving “hello” to you.

I’ve been to La Mancha approximately five times over the past 3 years. Consistent, efficient and dishes to please. Combine this with a jug or two of sangria and you get a festive atmosphere and a sore hoarse throat. Olè!

(Of note, our friend the Bottomless Pit, suffered from severe nausea and vomiting the following morning. Even though she did consume most of the chorizo and patatas (she does earn her name), we concluded another dining culprit must have been the cause. After all, we did all eat both dishes. I’ll just like to give a “big up” to her whilst she tours Europe with the infamous Contiki tour. An 18 to 35 year olds only tour more focused on “hitching up” rather than the sights. I’ll keep you posted once she returns.)

HRH

THATCHED HOUSE

2006-05-09T23:39:00.000+01:00

115 Dalling Rd, Hammersmith. W6 0ET

Telephone: 020 8748 6174

Nearest Tube: Ravenscourt Park

Website: Thatched House

Thatched House. These two words conjure up powerful images and emotions. Rolling green English fields, medieval children dancing around maypoles, Shakespeare brandishing his quill yet again at Anne, screaming hysterical eccentrics burnt at the stake.

Well. Those are the images it conjures up for me.

You expect something homey. Must have a raging wood-burning fire. None of that poncy gas fake-log malarkey, funks very much.

Thatched House did not disappoint. A place clearly valued by locals. A family place to chat, relax for hours at a time without the threat of drunken football louts threatening the peace with repetitive football chants. (As an aside. I’ve finally figured out why grown men actually make intimate physical contact with each other – some actually assume a humping position – fondle each other’s hair and do on an occasion kiss. Watched Man Utd play Middlesborough at the Old Trafford. Absolutely nothing was scored. What a disappointment. And my first football game too. Looks like scoring a goal is nothing short of a miracle.)

I digress.

Thatched House has it all. Wooden tables and chairs. Candlelight. Genuine roaring wood fire. Tastefully decorated (even down to the wooden very tall cat in one corner - strangely not out of place).

Their main menu borders on normal pub grub (but fancified) aspiring to gastropub status. According to The Other Hag they do pretty good tapas from Monday to Friday, very popular with the office after work crowd. They’re also supposed to be famous for their Sunday Roast. I’ll have to take them up on that claim to fame.

For starters. Leek and potato soup (£4.40) was gorgeous. Thick, flavoursome. Hard to go wrong really. I’ve even made a batch from scratch before. But some cooks ruin it by over seasoning it.

Aubergine stuffed with Mediterranean vegetables topped off with melted mozzarella and accompanied by a generous serve of salad greens. (£8.50) Wunderbar.

Pan-fried fillet of sea-bass with asparagus, balsamic roasted cherry tomatoes and sweet roasted artichokes with hot and sour sauce (£11.50). Not to be faulted.

Beer battered cod and chips with salad greens (£9.00) – not the best to be honest. Batter a bit too thick for my liking. Probably the best I’ve had in London was in the Sea Cow (batter as light as tempura and flesh as moist as dewdrops on a garden fairy's bum).

Roast chicken with herb and onion stuffing (£13.50). Holy moly mother of all mothers. This was humungous! Half a chicken was falling off the plate. Even the Bottomless Pit couldn’t finish it. She said it was good but not great though. So at least we have proof that quantity is not better than quality. She recommends The Idle Hour in Putney for the perfect chicken roast. She asked for it to be wrapped up in foil (which they obliged with no fuss or muss) after mumbling some excuse of a fictional pet she had to feed.

New Zealand half shoulder of lamb with mint gravy (£13.50). Pretty succulent and tender on the inside, but disappointed to say it was a tad dry outside. Just pulled itself out of danger from being mistaken as driftwood. Nah that's harsh. Driftwood with a tender interior.

So menu is touch and go. Some shiners and some mixed thumbs up and thumbs down. But if you’re not expecting Michelin you definitely won’t be miffed. If you’re only expecting standard pub grub – then your socks will be rocked!

Will definitely venture there again for a pint and a chat. Will try their interesting daily changing menu again. And will definitely have a go at their Sunday roast. Will let you know.

HRH

376 HOTTEST RESTAURANTS IN THE WORLD

2006-04-28T09:50:00.000+01:00

Pim from Chez Pim is a gal I've always admired. Her blog makes for addictive reading accompanied by sensational food pictures.

She gave up her job in Silicon Valley to pursue her passion for food and has managed to reach dizzying heights with great success going from strength to stength. Her latest claim to fame is her contribution of seven restaurant recommendations to Food and Wine Magazine's The Go List. Great list of recommendations. Have a peek at your nearest city and see if you agree.

HRH

THAI FOOD FETISH

2006-04-23T09:32:00.000+01:00

Have you been into Addie's recently? Wow...what a difference! The whole place has been revamped from a no-frills cafe, into a modern, funky chill-out restaurant/bar. Dark woods replace the pine chairs and table they had before. Spot lights artfully bounce off specially made black and white photography canvases.

Gone are the paper menus. Now they are replaced by funky perspex clad ones.

And have you seen their website? Gosh...didn't know they had one before...but this one is impressive!Clearly no expense has been spared as they aim to attract a larger market, not just the Thais. But they have kept a few things. Their impeccable service, quality of food and most importantly...their prices are the same. Woohoo!

I've written a review on this fantastic restaurant before. Damn it...it is the best Thai is London. We did get the usual heartburn and reflux that always accompanies gluttony at Addie's. Pores open, sweat glands go into hyperactive mode. Enough to raise the hairs on the most follically challenged person.

Hover your cursor over the pics to get there description. All were our usual favs (again, see our previous review). For something new we tried the Yam Neau - Thai style spicy grilled beef salad. A little tough and sour for my liking. But all the rest we heartedly recommend.

Incidentally came across this website set up by Thais in the UK. Has a comprehensive listing of Thai food in London. Pity there aren't more reviews and recommendations though.

HRH

CHO SAN - revisited

2006-04-06T16:37:00.000+01:00

I’m not one for remembering dates. But after nine years of remembering when my hubby and myself first started ‘dating’, you’d think I would remember this year. But apparently marriage does this to people. It deceptively infiltrates peoples minds and wipes out certain sections like a virus. Imagine my shock and horror on only realizing it halfway through the day when hubby texts me.

So that’s how we ended up at Cho San again. Yup we were there exactly one year ago as it is quite dear and we only save it for really special occasions. Sad I know.

It was like de ja vu. We were seated at the same table, in the same positions. Fish tank on my right, waitress (an older lady who I think owns the restaurant) on my left, the sushi chef at eleven o’clock.

For a Wednesday they were pretty busy, but not packed. Service as usual was attentive and prompt. We decided to hit all the side dishes we had never tried before, plus the irresistible sashimi boat.

First up – beef heart. Not my choice but in the spirit of trying things new I did have a nibble. More than a nibble in fact. Chewy, tough with a gamey aftertaste. Squeeze a bit of lemon onto a piece to bring out the flavour. Great with a swig of Asahi. I have to admit that the thought of eating another animal’s myocyte (heart muscle to you) did scream from the deep recesses of my mind.

Sauted asparagus in what tasted like butter and soy sauce. Great combo.

Whelks in a watery soup with lemon. Never had whelks before. Tasted much the same as snails but much bigger and chewier.

Cold yam noodle salad with sesame seeds. Quite an unusual and refreshing dish.

Steamed clams – a little disappointing as they were a bit bland and chewy. Did an embarrassing thing. Claims were perched daintily upon white mounds. I automatically thought that these white mounds were pulped raddish. I swear they look exactly the same! I took a huge portion of it with my chopsticks. As I placed it delicately in my mouth I happened to look at the sushi chef looking at me. His eyes widened momentarily as he watched in slow motion what was unfolding. He raised his arm to warn me – but alas it was too late. I had just put a whole mound of salt into my mouth. You have been warned.

Grilled salted sea bream head – delicious, but a little expensive for a part of a fish that most people throw away. Not much meat there at all.

The sushi and sashimi boat was a little disappointing. Not as fresh and with thinner pieces of fish.

Would actually think twice about coming here again whether it would be on a special occasion or otherwise. I know other places that are much more consistent, reasonably priced and offer a wide variety – Asakusa.

HRH

STICKY FINGERS

2006-04-02T09:27:00.000+01:00

1a Philimore Gardens, Kensington. London W8 7EG

Reservation telephone no: 0207 9385338

Website: Sticky Fingers

Average price: £25

We’ve been looking forward to eating at Sticky Fingers for ages. I’m always out for a luscious moist rack of ribs. For those who don’t know, Sticky Fingers is like Hard Rock café, Planet Hollywood etc. You know the type. American food joints set up by celebrities in the vain hope that their power clout will attract massive business and remain in our naïve hearts forever.

Sticky Finger’s first branch was set up in Kensington in 1971 by Bill Wyman, bassist of the Rolling Stones. A unique place to set up a glorified steak, rib and burger joint. Anyhow it worked.

It was everything I expected – from the ultra bright neon lights outside, to the memorabilia laden walls and large tables of patrons celebrating birthdays (brightly coloured balloons included), families with their screaming kids. 80’s music blasted into every orifice I owned. Not a place for a strategic meeting or for amorous mutterings. (Anyway, anyone bringing their first date here should be shot – under 10 years old exempted). The only time the music was stopped was to sing renditions of 'Happy Birthday' - and believe me, it happened a lot.

Surprisingly the music never touched on Rolling Stones. The staff were probably sick of it in the beginning. Most people are when forced to listen to the same music again and again and again.

The staff were predominantly cute overseas feminine talent wearing tight, short T-shirts. I have to say that service was great and prompt. Pity about the food though.

Their ribs are meant to be the stuff of legends. In reality, the Tennessee rye whiskey and house BBQ glazed ribs (£13.50) was disappointingly dry.
The chunky chips provided on the side reminded me of the chips you get from your local, nothing special, fish and chip joint down the road. (You know the ones. The chips that taste bloody fantastic when you’re inebriated and have the munchies at 4am but you wouldn’t touch ‘em with a barge pole with any ounce of sense in your head.) Don’t get me started on whatever they called that limp pile of cabbage they call ‘coleslaw’.

And it wasn’t just my plate that plummeted down and down in my charts. Two of my fellow diners had exactly the same thing and agreed with me. Oh, of special note. If you wanted a baked potato with your ribs instead of chips. Sorry. They only do mash. Huh? And don’t bother with the mash. It was lumpy and was laden with too much butter.

To be fair, I haven’t tried anything else on their menu to warrant me damning the whole restaurant to dark depths of ‘restaurant I will never venture back again’. I will definitely go back again on a Monday Madness Day. All main courses from the a la carte menu are half price! Of special interest to me is the Steak and Dagger – chargrilled 10oz sirloin and whole roasted lobster, handcut wedges and red wine jus (normally £32). I would be pretty hacked off if they had conveniently run out of the lobster forcing me to order something else.

I’ll keep you posted.

HRH

GORDON RAMSAY'S F WORD

2006-03-30T12:48:00.000+01:00

Gordon Ramsay's second series of The F Word is about to hit the small screens again later this year. For those who missed out last season, the F word sees Gordon cook up a storm of delicious treats for his diners in the F word restaurant and raise some very important food and restaurant issues, including double tipping and male fertility (you had to watch it).

The second series of the show is looking for groups of people to unite around the dinner table. The idea is to get various groups (families, friends, social groups, clubs, a house of student nurses etc) to re-unite around the dinner table. This is where the fun part for the participants - Gordon will visit and help you cook a meal. So for all our readers out there who fancy a chance at meeting Gordon (or just fancies Gordon!) and getting a personal cooking lesson, please give a shout to Shelley (shelley.travers@optomen.com) and tell her that the Culinary Hags sent you packing to her.

And if anyone out there does get a chance to meet the fanciable Gordon (well, he is!), drop a few nice things to say about us Hags and send him round our way. We'd love a visit ourselves.

TOH

DITTO

2006-03-17T00:11:00.000Z

55-57 East Hill, Wandsworth. SW18 2QE

Telephone: 020 88770110

Nearest Rail: Wandsworth BR

Website: Ditto

Average price: 32 pounds

Hurley surveyed the dining room nervously. All eyes seemed to be upon him. Staring. Penetrating. Accusing. He shifted uncomfortably in his ill-fitting buy one-get-one-free leather shoes. “Oh god, help me through this,” he muttered, hastily crossing himself. He crossed the wooden floors to the kitchen, trying to ignore the death-rays, the silent curses. “Tiny steps. Tiny steps. I just need to get to the kitchen,” he thought desperately.

“Excuse me. We’ve finished our entrees over 40 minutes ago and our mains have still not been served!” demanded a handsome Ted Baker clad gentleman intersecting Hurley’s path to the kitchen.

Hurley felt perspiration dripping down his forehead. Despite the heat in the restaurant and the tell-tale dark circles under his armpits, he felt damn right chilly.

He cleared his throat aiming for something between deep and authoritarian, yet polite and courteous. What came out was a squeak. He cleared his throat again. “I’m very sorry. Chef and his staff are doing the best they can. Tonight has been unexpectantly busy. I will see that you will get your mains very soon.” After repeating this mantra for what seemed like the twentieth time, Hurley backed away from the dashing gentleman taking small geisha-like steps, almost tripping over himself.

For a moment he almost felt faint. The room began to spin deliriously. His vision was filled with packed tables, all devoid of food all looking at him. Exasperated. Hungry. Wanting to know – what was the deal?

The deal was Toptable. Damn it. We have screwed ourselves over! What were we thinking? 25% off all food, INCLUDING Fridays and Saturdays. Who knew it would be this popular?

Hurley lunged towards the kitchen doors frantically with the desperation of a business man rushing home to see if his wife was cheating with the gardener. Lee, the Head Chief was crimson with perspiration and energy. His brow was furiously creased with concentration and a tinge of despair. He was delicately and lovingly dripping coriander infused oil onto the just seared tuna.

“We’re going down! You have to cook faster! No one has their food and they’re all getting really agitated!” bellowed Hurley waving his arms at Lee like an air traffic controller.

Lee barely glanced at the frantic waiter. He was used to working under pressure. He KNEW how many orders were in goddamit. He KNEW they were running way behind schedule. He just didn’t need this punk ass waiter to tell him how to run things. Lee snarled and continued to garnish the plate with the feather-light touch of a master painter. Hurley almost in tears, stared helplessly at the head chef, not knowing what to do. He picked up the few plates of food that were ready and meekly headed out into the main restaurant.

Ditto has a lot of potential. I can feel it. Enter through the doors and you’re in the bar. A very relaxed, cool vibe. Warm earthy tones. Inviting brown leather couches you soak into. Cocktails are quite good and reasonably priced.

We have been to Ditto before and have found the food actually quite good. Nothing ground-breaking, mind you. But good modern European food.

Until this occasion. The scenario above was probably written with a bit of extrapolating imagination (I don’t know what goes on in the kitchen, much less the quality of the waiters’ shoes) but I can probably guess what was going on. I felt sorry for them in a way. Collaborating with Toptable brings a lot of business their way, but ultimately if they’re not prepared for the onslaught – they can actually turn away customers. I’ve been to a lot of Toptable specials and have witnessed the bloodied downfall of many a restaurant.

The menu is impressive and at first it is quite difficult to decide on what to eat. There is just too many delectably described dishes. You can check them out on their website. I don’t know whether it was because the kitchen was under pressure but we all found the food to be well-presented, but very flat in taste and texture. Lacked pizzaz. Lacked oomph. Lacked innovation in taste. They had the concept. Could have worked, but somehow fell apart in the making.

For example the Crayfish Tempura with sweet chilli dipping sauce sounds delightful and tantilising on paper. When it actually came, my poor heart sunk and tastebuds drooped in weary anticipation. Tiny encrusted nuggets of fish lay in front of me. I could visually see that the tempura didn’t look light or crispy. A grand fan-fare for a poor line-up. Much like gits in glitzy sport-cars. Another story.

For mains I had Baked Filet of Black Bream on braised chicory with orange & tomato. A crushing disappointment. My dining companion seated 80 cm away said to me, “I can smell your fish.” I leaned closed to my plate, almost inhaling the tomato – she was right,it didn’t smell right. I was reluctant to send it back. God knew how long it would take for the kitchen to come up with another plate. I took a bite. Yup – it wasn’t fresh. Very fishy. Yeech!

I can’t speak for the dishes of my other dining companions. Needless to say they weren’t very impressed. Sigh….at least we could cling onto the knowledge we had 25% off the food. It would REALLY hurt to pay full price for what we had suffered.

We declined desserts. God, we needed to get home before dawn.

All joking aside. I don’t think this place is bad. I do think it tends to be inconsistent. If it wasn’t for the 25 % off I probably would’ve been more pissed off. But maybe the 2 bottles of red consumed whilst waiting for the meal mellowed us sufficiently.

Please do check out their website. It is packed full features. Did you know that every Tuesday night is Ladies Night and if pre-booked, you get 25% off (for female only tables)? What a weird but wonderful offer!

Not only do they have their own bar but they have their own deli as well at a separate location – Barmouth Rd SW18. Having a dinner party and can’t be arsed to cook? No probs.You can drop off your own casserole dish and they will fill it for you with such delights like coq au vin, Thai chicken curry, wild mushroom stroganoff. Rules are minimum 8 people and if you use their dish it’s 15 pounds refundable deposit. Fair enough.

I can tell that Will Oakely the brains behind the operation is THINKING BIG and creatively. The ambience and mood created in the bar and restaurant is so spot on. All thumbs up there.

Despite this review, well worth a check out, maybe when it’s not so busy and cursed with pressure.

(Incidentally, "ditto" means "same as before". Same as before what?)
HRH

Wanna see more restaurant reviews by us?

JIM THOMPSON'S THAI RESTAURANT/BAR

2006-03-15T22:16:00.000Z

408 Upper Richmond Rd
Putney SW15 6JP

Telephone: 020 8788 3737

Nearest Tube: East Putney

Average price per person: £20-25 (entrees, main, dessert and drink)

The last month has swooshed us by at a frenetic pace. Many life changes have overwhelmed us – a challenging 10 mile run, the acquisition of a supercharged Cooper S, a holiday abroad, the end of one job and the start of another, a proposal (yes the Prince Consort and myself are engaged!) and the following wedding arrangements. So forgive us for neglecting the maintenance of our little baby here.

After the gym, we headed to The Ship for another slap-up meal. Yes I know it’s an exercise in conducting an anti-thesis to the concept of a good work-out. I did protest but was over-ruled. Nevertheless. The idle afternoon was spent lounging at The Larrick pub in Fulham watching the Men’s Wimbledon final on the two large projector screens they had there. If there ever was an unsatisfying match between the great titan Federer and hard-serving Roddick – this was it. This Wimbledon final was done and dusted in three sets - with hardly a whimper. It seemed that the display of emotion by Federer was just that – a display for the cameras. The win came easy to him and he expected it. We watched the match complete with a resplendent bottle of champers and the obligatory bowl of strawberries and cream. If only we were watching the nail-biting, bum-on-edge match of Venus versus Davenport. Sigh.

After a few games of pool at Durrell’s pub in Fulham (now serving the ultra-refreshing Kronenberg Blanc on tap) we wanted a simple meal. A salad maybe. Definitely not too heavy on the calories and easy on the wallet. We decided on Jim Thompson’s Thai restaurant/pub – a place we’ve always meant to venture to, but never quite made it.

We were pleasantly astounded as soon as we walked through the entrance. It became abundantly clear that this was no ordinary local pub. A quick search on the trusty web surprised me even more. We had to be either completely unobservant (or stupid) or wandering aimlessly in the Amazon rainforest for the last few years. Jim Thompson’s asian influenced eateries are everywhere. Putney, Wimbledon, Fulham, Marylebone, Brighton, Surrey, Gloucestershire, Kent – apparently twelve in all, gosh. Jim Thompson was a charismatic American who was renowned for his wit, charm, entrepreneurial skills, lavish hospitality, infectious personality and his collection of Thai silks and artefacts. All establishments are manned by only Thai chefs and waiting staff (very important in maintaining authenticity).

The pub is small, cosy and intimate with lots of earthy wooden undertones. The restaurant occupies another section of the establishment to the left. Immediately your senses are overwhelmed with the number of fascinating Oriental artefacts they have on display. All items are for sale and signs everywhere proclaim that haggling is encouraged. Buddha statuettes, towering dragons, gongs, masks, pottery, paintings and freizes. Upon entering the restaurant ‘Thai Pad’, we were immediately struck by the romantic bewitching airy nature of the place. Stone floors, wicker furniture, tables supported by giant stone fingers, walls adorned with beautiful Oriental artefacts. Our table was set with a large stone frog used as a candle holder. The menu itself was an art-piece in itself. Wooden bamboo like construction. It became apparent early that this plave is a perfect setting for an amorous, fiery date.

The menu covered mainly Thai delicacies, but also included a random Malaysian or Chinese dish. All walks of edible domestic and wildlife are represented fairly. Starters include all the usual suspects – chicken satay, honey-roast pork ribs, sesame prawn toast, spring rolls, Thai fish cakes, crispy aromatic duck….yawn, stop me, I’m boring myself. Starters range from £4.50 to £9.95. The most intriguing was the chargrilled crocodile with a spicy peanut sauce. To be tried on another occasion.

As I mentioned before, we weren’t at all hungry and were just out for a snack. I tried the crispy duck salad (£8.95). The duck, dressed in ginger and soy was succulent, lean and bountiful in their portions. It was accompanied by an egg noodle salad, the proportions of which was quite meagre. Enough for me on this particular day, but not enough to make a fulfilling meal on any other.

The Man had a similar dish with an intriguing name – “Tiger Cry” (£8.95). Tender, succulent, well-marinated strips of sirloin steak dripped with a fresh mint, coriander and lime dressing. A winner dish out of the lot we had chosen. Very cleansing and refreshing for the soul. Even The Man’s soul – spotless clean, needs a spring clean every now and again.

The Other Hag opted for the sea spiced aubergines with Shanghai noodles (£6.50). This was also a gorgeous dish but extremely heavy and oily. A feature of Shanghainese food – to stack on those extra pounds of lard to survive those harsh Shanghainese winters. The noodles are white, round and thick – similar to Japanese udon. The deep-fried aubergines were divine – velvety, searing hot melt in your mouth bite-sized pieces.

The Prince Consort had the most unsatisfactory dish, but I have to say to him – “I told ya so”. He opted for the curry Laksa. From my experience, it’s hard enough to get a decent Laksa at authentic Malaysian joints, let alone fusion restaurants – so why try? You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment of gargantuan proportions. The Laska came in the smallest bowl ever. I think they sell coffees in larger vessels in Starbucks. Tiger prawns, chicken and vermicelli noodles swam in their tiny hot-tub of the too sweet and coconutty soup broth. Nothing close to the original.

Around the back they have a quaint intimate beer garden with a few tables supported by large god-like Thai hands. Perfect surroundings for those chill-out summery evening enjoying a pint. On Tuesday they offer a stir-fry and a pint for £5.95, Wednesdays a curry and a pint for £5.95 and on Thursday from 9pm there’s quiz night.

A great place to go to for a chow-down and drink with friends or even a romantic rendezvous for two. It’s all good. The food here can be a bit hit and miss, but the ambience more than makes up for it. Only wish we had found this place earlier and can’t wait to try out their cocktails. See ya there on quiz night!

HRH

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AYOUSH

2006-03-06T13:49:00.000Z

58 James Street, London. W1U 1QE

Telephone: 020 7935 9839

Nearest Tube: Bond Street

Website: Ayoush

Opening Times: Mon to Sun 12pm till 12am

Average Price: £50 for set meal with 2 cocktails

Anorth African themed restaurant. Location, price and interior all lead to the conclusion that it is solely kitted out to lure unsuspecting gullible patrons. Equivalent I would say to dining in a Mexican themed restaurant only to be inundated with Mexican memorabilia and dancing Sombrero-wearing waiters with thick bushy black moustaches. Ole!

I digress.

We were led downstairs to an intimate and cosy cave prefect for large groups. Very dark as you would expect. TOH who had booked the place, told us that we could only have the three course set menu for £24.50 (including tea/coffee). No this wasn’t a special. It seems to be Ayoush’s unwritten policy that for groups larger than six, you can’t order from the ala carte menu. ALL must have the set menu. Beware of this. (Incidentally the lady who she spoke to over the phone had a “take it or lump it” attitude).

On perusing the reviews of other patrons I have quickly sussed out that service and politeness is not one of Ayoush’s strong points. My guess is that they have done their homework and are too perusing websites to see what customer’s think of their service and food. So I am glad and relieved to say that service was exemplary to the point of over-friendliness. Not a negative at all in my view.

Music ranged from Arabic pop to Western tunes. I was temporarily confused when Sean Paul was blasting out into the stratosphere. Women started belly-dancing in the middle of the restaurant (hen’s night?). Might have been a professional dancer there. Being in the cave keeps you pretty much excluded from all the entertainment.

The collection of starters arrived with plenty of pitta bread to share. All were well-presented, more than enough to go around. In terms of taste, I can’t really rant and rave. Nothing out of the ordinary. Bog standard north African fare really.

Baba ghannoug

Labna - dry yoghurt served with cucumber, olive oil, garlic and mint.

Warak Enab Mahshee - vine leaves stuffed with an aromatic mix of rice, parsley and spices.

Salade Egyptienne - oriental mix of tomatoes, lettuce, artichoke, asparagus.

Calamari and Sambousek au fromage - golden fired freshly made crisp pastry filled with goat's cheese and butter.

After a small break and further topping up on drinks (they are very good in asking you for more cocktails, after all, it is their highest money earner) mains were served. You can either order one dish each from their set collection of mains. Or you can just order one of each of the mains so that everyone can taste the variety. I don’t know about you, but I find eating one main dish (when it comes to Arabic food) very monotonous, heavy and boring.

Again standard fare and nothing radical.

Tagine du poulet - baby chicken cooked in traditional Moroccan sauce served with slices of marinated lemon and olives. A disappointing bland dish.

Lamb tagine - cubes of lamb served with sweet prunes and dried apricots. Noticeably the huge pieces of prunes and dried apricots were left aside. Lamb not the most tender.

Les couscous du poulet - chicken cooked in spices served with steamed cous cous. Plain and uninspiring.

Les couscous d'agneau - lamb brochettes served with steamed cous cous.

By the way, it's not my lack of photography skills that is making all the dishes look suspiciously the same.

Seabass in tomato sauce cooked the 'Alexandrian' way served with white rice. By the far the most interesting of all the dishes. On top were roasted Mediterranean veges which really brought the fish out of obscurity.

For desserts an impressive platter of Al-kahkeyeen pastry - baklava, basboussa and kanafa. Hardly touched as we were all too stuffed with pitta bread and cous cous. I can assure you though, from what I tried – they were buttery, flakey and sickly sweet. Perfectly complimented with hot mint tea.

So we ate. Yes we were filled. We drank. Then the bill came.

£50 per person.

Arrrhhhhh!!!!!!!

Ayoush works because of the atmosphere. Food wise, you could get cheaper and better on Edgeware road, but with zilch ambience (if that’s what you’re hankering for). I hastened to say that bright fluorescent lights and cheap plastic tables and chairs have a unique charm on its own when placed in context and at the right price. Do be careful when knocking back the drinks. Do they really think they can justify the prices they charge equivalent to a high end bar?

HRH

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THE SEA COW

2006-02-27T08:55:00.000Z

676 Fulham Road,Fulham. SW6 5SA

Tel: 0207 610 8020

Nearest Tube: Parsons Green/Fulham Broadway Tube

Open: Mon - Sun: 12pm to 11pm

Average price: £30 for 3 courses with drinks.

Website: The Sea Cow

Bright, airy and functional this seafood eatery is a breath of fresh air. The informal contemporary design with simple lines, bare walls and unassuming heavy wooden long tables echos the ethos of their cooking. Seafood is cooked masterfully the way nature intended. With minimal interference. Apparently the owners drew inspiration from Sydney’s fresh fish café culture. All seafood is delivered daily from Billingsgate.

.

As you enter, on the right, a blackboard clearly lists the eat-in and take-away prices for dishes served. A small but modest selection. It is also possible to purchase fresh uncooked seafood directly from them. The seafood itself is displayed eye-catchingly on a bed of ice for all to see. Chefs work in an open plan design with a much needed powerhouse of a stainless steel exhaust. Nothing to hide here.

As we enter in, there is a nice vibe. Very informal and relaxed joint. Clearly the emphasis is on simplicity. Upon seating (you might have to share a long table with someone) we were promptly served. The unpretentious wine list helpfully lists which wines complements which fish. The general chatter was quite loud and the waiter at times had trouble hearing us.

We shared starters of a char grilled tiger prawn salad with a delicious sweet herbalish chutney sauce. Simply steamed tiger prawns with mayo. A bowl of mussles with chilli and coriander. One thing was clear at this stage. Everything was very fresh and we were in for a treat with the mains.

For mains we had the bluefish tuna steak, gilt head bream, whole lemon sole, and red snapper. All tasted like they were caught that morning and grilled to perfection. Moist and firm. Our only minor gripe was that they should have an option of different sauces to complement the fish. Not the usual tartare sauce, but maybe concoct their own special distinct sauces or sides to liven up the dish. Not creamy heavy sauces prevalent in European cooking, but maybe varieties of fruit/vegetable chutneys and salsas.

The winner of the evening was definitely the good ol’ traditional deep-fried cod and chips. The cod batter itself was so light, crispy and most importantly non-stodgy and non-greasy. Perfectly complimented with chunky potato chips fresh from the fryer. It almost felt healthy. One of the best fish and chips I’ve ever had.

Unpretentious and spot on in getting the simple things right. I think we’ve finally found our fav fish and chippie.

HRH

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LAHORE KARAHI

2006-02-26T02:07:00.000Z

1 Tooting High St
London SW 17 0SN

Tel: 020 8767 2477

Opening time: Noon to midnight daily

Closest Tube: Tooting Broadway

Average per head: ₤10 with non alcoholic drinks (Halal restaurant, no alcohol served - byo but no corkage)

The time has come to share this little culinary delight with the world. Can't think of any more excuses why we shouldn't review this find and share it with all of you out there. This hag has been coming to Lahore Karahi for over a year now and finally, I'm ready to divulge this little gem. Leave your fancy coats and frilly tops at home and don your comfy jeans if you're heading to this place. Afer a curry session at this restaurant, everything on you and around you will be perfumed with the aroma of cardomon, cumin and all those wonderful spices that flavoured your dinner.

As evident by its name, this restaurant specialises in karahi dishes (a wok equivalent) and so far in our culinary journey, we haven't tasted better. Here's a great tip - if this is your first time, a must to try is either the meat karahi or lamb chop karahi. These dishes alone make the trek to Tooting (well, its a trek for those who don't live near Tooting or on the right Northern line branch) well worth it. Believe me, after our first taste of the meat karahi, we craved it frequently and often went back to satisfy them. Anyways, moving on....

Lahore Karahi is certainly a functional restaurant without all the fancy trimmings. Don't come here to impress a date, unless your date is really into good curry. There are certainly enough efficient wait staff (and all of them men, oddly enough) to take and dispense orders. Oft times the queue for takeaway is just as long as those waiting to be seated but luckily we've never had to wait for more than 15 minutes before being accomodated. On this occasion, it was an early Friday night and we were craving some cheap and cheerful comfort food after a hard week. Tough decisions had to be made, after all the no-nonsense menu offered several tasty options and its hard enough to narrow it down.

For 4 very hungry appetites, we started with a poppadum each and a portion of lamb cutlets. A portion of the grilled lamb consisted of 4 cutlets and certainly arrived promptly.

We battled with ourselves to try something new on the menu but the tried and tested won hands down. After all, it was a cold windy night and we wanted our usual tongue burning, belly firing curry. Meat karahi was on the table that night but we forgot to get the lamb chop karahi. But if you do visit, make sure you do get this if you like lamb.

Tender pieces of lamb smothered in a thick, spicy gravy - with a bit of pilau rice or naan - its a treat for your tastebuds. Our only foray into the unadventured territory was the Chicken Masala - recommended by the waiter - its a fiery chicken dish certain to make your tastebuds and belly tingle.

Not forgetting the our daily requirement of veges, Sag Paneer (spinach and cheese curry), our favourite Bhindi (okra or ladies fingers as its sometimes known).

Don't let the picture of the Sag Paneer fool you - yes it shows only one solitary piece of curd cheese. But under that thick gooey spinach goodness hides generous pieces of cheese, spiced to perfection. And the okra? Most of the time, its a despicable vegetable when incorrectly cooked - its been described to resemble phlegm both in texture and taste. But Lahore Karahi's version is a satisfying, tasty delight.

Our meal wasn't complete without the mandatory rice so we decided to be adventurous by trying the lamb briyani and had an additional 2 very generous portions of plain rice.

After this monstorous meal which transformed four very hungry people into four very satisfied patrons. Throw in a soft drink in each with our own beer (its byo here as they don't serve alcohol) the total damage of the night was ₤8 per person. Now, who could argue with that?

TOH

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TAIWAN VILLAGE

2006-02-25T16:49:00.000Z

85 Lillie Rd, Fulham. SW6 1UD

Telephone: 020 7381 2900

Nearest Tube: West Brompton

If you’re mastered in the art of donning a hoodie, slouching real low and generally slumming it – then you’ll fit right in. Maybe not as snug as a hamster up Mr Gere’s ass…but a snug fit all the same. This is the demeanour we had to adopt on eventually finding a parking and dashing the 100metres into the restaurant. Not the safest of all areas. Leave the Fendi handbag and Jimmy Choo’s for another joint out.

Upon entering, our fears were allayed. Very pleasant ambience, tasteful Chinese nik nacks, grandly set white-table clothed dinner tables with decorative napkins perched grandly upon wooden stands. The restaurant is narrow but quite deep and deceptively large. A very intimate and cosy place. I was immediately impressed.

They have an ala carte menu, but we thought it was far better to go for the “Let Us Decide Feast”. There are two versions. One normal for £21 per head and one seafood based for £23. Lovers of seafood, it was a no-brainer. But we were very unprepared for the on-slaught that followed. Keep in mind, the chef decides what he will prepare for you.

Seven starters (count ‘em) arrived in steady succession.

Fish soup in quaint tall bamboo vessels. Chunks of white cod immersed in a flavoursome soup flavoured with lemon grass, basil and white peppercorns. Fragrant and cleansing, it was welcomed with slurps of approval.

A plate of wholesome meaty pork dumplings complemented with vinegar sauce.

Individual plates of fried small prawns with deep fried shallots, nestled in a lettuce leaf. Unusual and scrumptious, with the shallots highlighting the prawns both in texture and flavour.

Burning hot crispy deep-fried long green beans coated with a light, tempura-like batter. Hit the spot and burnt the tongue. Felt like I could have curled up with a bowl of these in front of the TV.

Some sort of firm white fish fried in a sweet and sour sauce. Not heavy on the sweet though. Suited my palate.

Salt and pepper deep fried cuttlefish. Not the usual dish you get in Chinese restaurants. This one had real Sichuan peppercorns. If you’ve had them before, you’d know they leave a tangy, acidic coating on your tongue that's hard to get rid of. Avoid eating the peppercorns if you can.

Peking Duck. Not as nice as the one in Mandarin Kitchen – a bit on the dry side. But a nice surprise as weren’t expecting it.

The mains appeared with rice. Deep breath. Please allow for gastric reflux….

Oyster omelette with a very heavy, corn-starchy sauce covering it. Nice but why on earth do you need a thick gluggy sauce on top?

Deep-fried fish with spicy chilli sauce. As you would expect the fish wasn’t very fresh…but then again, that’s why they serve it deep-fried.

Stir-fried chicken with veges. Ordinary. Too full to tell anyways.

Stir-fried fish with veges. Tasted the same as the one above.

By this time I think we were all regurgitating our stomach contents. This was way worth our £23. Although some of us did look around expectantly waiting for a barrage of desserts to arrive. After 10 mins, we asked the waitress. Alas no. That was all.

Well we were well impressed anyway. What a feast! And so cheap!

Can’t wait to go back again, but am anticipating the same combination of food to show up. Will try again and keep you posted.

HRH

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THE CHUTNEY

2006-02-07T17:14:00.000Z

11 Alma Road
Wandsworth
SW18 1AA
Telephone: 020 8870 4588

Opening Times: Mon - Sun 5:30pm - 12am

Closest BR Train: Wandsworth Town

Average price per head: £20 including alcohol

This self billed contemporary Indian restaurant is a local's haven - popularity spread by word of mouth or a Toptable special. On this cold wintry evening, Her Royal Hag consipred to add some spice and fire to our bellies without breaking the bank and came up with The Chutney. The combination of contemporary indian cuisine, albeit just only slight above your average, served up in a slightly luxurious settings (no guarantee of service though!) will prove to be a popular local treat.

This restaurant sits just off East Hill road in Putney, hidden in between all the cute Victorian terraced housing. Looking down the street at night, you're likely to miss the restaurant but once you're outside it, its definitely hard to miss. Its fiery red feature wall is a bold statement, as are the fire engine red and black leather seats dotted around tables lined with sleek, crisp white sheets. And for bold statements like these, one would either love it or hate it. The reaction around our table was certainly a mixed bag. Personally, I thought that it was a bold statement which worked to bring up the tone of otherwise typical Indian restaurant. With the distinct and polished interior, The Chutney certainly strived to achieve a touch of class and uphold its mantra of contemporary Indian cuisine.

Once seated, menus distributed and drinks in hand we perused a menu which had enough items for those accustomed to Indian cuisine (pakoras, onion bhajis, tandoori meats of all sorts etc) and also had enough interesting choices which were absent from a typical indian takeaway. On this occasion, our party decided to spurn the starters and head straight for the main courses. After downing our menus and sitting there patiently, we were ignored by the 2 waiters on duty who were going around other tables and providing what seemed to be exemplary service. It would have been nice to see some that hospitality thrown our way, but never mind, we weren't to be deterred. After getting their attention 3 times, we were finally graced with a waiter bearing pen and paper who took our orders without any drama. Unfortunately, this was only the first sign of the relatively poor service to come.

After our orders were dispensed and a customary 15 minutes wait, the kitchen began to deliver and us hags were beginning to get appeased. We're just too easy - yes, give us poor service...we may not tip you but then again, if the food's great you can bet last night's dinner that we'll be back before you can finish the leftovers. Well, what can I say? The food was pretty okay - although out of the 7 mains we ordered, only one or two stood up as above average. The rest was pretty much average - don't get me wrong..it wasn't bad, it was just okay. Yeah, I'd probably come back - after all its your nicer than average Indian restaurant in terms of ambience and price wise, its not unreasonably hefty, although there are others out there better value for money (Lahore Karahi - comes to mind. Well, the review is on its way).

So let's get right to it. The first dish that arrived on the table was the Murgh Handi Lazeez and right on its tail was the Goan Fish Curry. After the waiter scurried back to the kitchen to fetch the rest of the food, we were a little perplexed. One was a fish curry, described as a Goan specialty, cooked with an assortment of herbs and spices. The other was a chicken dish, cooked in exactly the same sauce - confirmed after 5 separate positive taste tests. Ah well, can't win them all I guess but it would have been appreciated if our waiter had informed us that we were about to get the same curry, just with different meats. When questioned about this at the end of the meal, we found out that the main difference between the curries was they were very similar with the exception that one was cooked with coconut cream and the other coconut milk. Well, a subtle difference and not one that we could have tasted much difference but either way, but both were tasty nevertheless.

The chicken briyani was one of the dishes that outshone the others - fluffy rice, with large chunks of well spiced chicken (good proportions of chicken to rice I might add) was one of the highlights. This and the pumpkin marsala, probably the best dish of the night. The delicate pumpkin was seasoned and spiced just right and cooked to perfection - not too mushy and not too hard. Yes, a very scientific and accurate description but there you go.

Our other selections of the night was the sag aloo (spinach and potatoes) - quite flavoursome but someone was slightly too heavy handed with the salt. The bhindi (okra) was still crunchy and tasty and the Bhuna Ghost, a mild lamb curry was pretty good.

Overall the quality of the food was decent and slightly above your average take away, as indicated by the prices as well. A look at the take away/delivery (free delivery within a 3 mile radius) menu doesn't indicate any concessions for take-away, although one is qualified for a 10% discount for pick ups. On this occasion, our main complaint was the sloppy service and the inattentiveness of our waiter. Although orders were repeated (by him!), items were still left out, incorrect orders, glasses remained empty and uncollected etc. All this contributed to the overall dissatisfied experience, although I'm not sure that the other patrons would have had the same complaint. It just seemed that at our table service was more lacking than others and we were only paid full attention at the end of the night when we paid the bill.

If you're after a nice cosy Indian restaurant which has a touch more class that the norm, head down to The Chutney. Especially if you can get a 50% off from toptable, that should help buffer the pain of crappy service once you get the bill.

TOH

MANDARIN KITCHEN

2006-02-05T16:16:00.000Z

14-16 Queensway, Bayswater. W2 3RX

Telephone: 020 7727 9012

Nearest Tube: Queensway or Bayswater

Hint. Never think it’s a great unique brainwave to descend on Mandarin Kitchen’s premises around Chinese New Year. Why? Every man and his Dog (how fortuitous) has exactly the same idea. Doh…

We made a booking for the CNY eve at 9:30pm and felt privileged to secure the Golden Ticket. On rushing to make our appointment, we hurtled into a hubbub of chaos and uncertainty. It was as if we had entered a black hole, where time and common decency are mere suggestions.

9:30pm happened to coincide with the change-over of dining patrons. Probably a better idea to stagger the times or (here’s an idea) anticipate the change-over and hire more staff to cope. Needless to say, my face came into close contact with many of a breast/nipple (I’m not that tall) whilst waiting for our table.

9:30pm came and waved good-bye with barely a glance back. By 10pm we tried to guess which table would be allocated to us and tried to stare the occupants down. Never works of course. I know. If you’re the one sitting down, you’re overcome by a overwhelming sense of smugness and take great delight in sipping your tea slowly or trying to stab the last grain of rice in your bowl with a toothpick. Infuriating for hungry on-lookers.

By 10:20pm we were starting to feel a tad narky. For the love of god – we made a reservation! And we weren’t the only ones who were on the verge of staging a semi-peaceful demonstration for human rights. We soon realised that the table we were meant to have had finished their dinner AGES ago. For the last hour they had run out of conversation and looked terribly bored whilst waiting for their bill.

By 10:45pm we were seated and I can now officially rant about the food. Our frustration in obtaining a table was temporarily abated by noticing another group of people who had arrived the same time as us (with a reservation no less) and were only seated an hour after us. I’m ashamed to admit it, but yes, a feeling of smugness did creep into my consciousness. (Yes I will be damned into oblivion.)

To bring in good luck for the New Year we had yee sang. A more Malaysian and Singaporean CNY tradition than it is mainland China. Normally fresh raw fish (usually salmon) is mixed with julienned vegetables accompanied by plum sauce, five-spice powder, sesame seeds, crushed nuts, and crunchy stuff. The idea is for everyone to dive in with their chopsticks to help mix the ingredients together (the higher the better) and shout "loi hei" which means longevity, prosperity and liveliness. The Mandarin Kitchen had their own version of this which involved just plum sauce and wasabi and soy sauce to dip the raw salmon in. OK, but no cigar. I’ve had better.

Peking Duck, a northern China delicacy, was gorgeous. This pleasantly surprised us. The skin was ravishingly crispy and devoid of fat.

The lobster noodles arrived with fanfare and was as expected – divine intervention. Firm, succulent lobster stir-fried with ginger and scallions accompanied with egg noodles soaked in lobster-rich sauce. Always a pleasure.

The other dishes were disappointing. I guess compared to the decadence of the lobster noodles and Peking Duck it was hard to top. The steamed Japanese silken tofu with soy sauce and shallots felt it needed an injection of flavour.

The Fried dried pork dish came out exactly as it sounded. Felt like eating burnt stringy dry as a bone pork. Couldn’t even finish it.

By the time we finished eating it was ticking over to 1am. The bill was reasonably price at £35 per head including alcohol.

Verdict on Mandarin Kitchen? Order the dishes they’re famous for and you won’t be disappointed. Steer way clear of the others. Oh and if you’re going during CNY – you’d be well advised to book ahead for an earlier dinner to avoid the chaotic change-over period.

HRH

YEAR OF THE DOG

2006-02-05T14:03:00.000Z

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

BLADES RESTAURANT AND GRILL

2006-01-30T21:03:00.000Z

94 Lower Richmond Road, Putney. SW15 1LL

Telephone: 020 8789 0869

Opening Hours: Tues-Sat 12.00-2.30pm 6.00-11.30pm. Open all day Sunday.

All major credit cards accepted.

Nearest Tube: East Putney or Putney BR

Like all good things, this Italian find was stumbled on by chance. It was a typical London blustery wintery day. You know the type. A cold chill that gnaws into your bones, darts and pierces into your ears and turns denim jeans into stiff boards of ice. All we wanted was refuge and a quick bite to eat.

Upon entering we were enveloped by a warm, cosy, intimate environment. Our minds were set at ease when the charming waiter opened his mouth. Strong Italian accent complemented his halting English. Well more authentic than cockney right? We were further put at ease by the charming owner who made sure we were well looked after through-out the meal.

Attentive and friendly service is the name of the game. We were promptly served and guided through every dish on their specials blackboard. Their ala carte menu is simple and reasonably priced, serving all major food groups – most notably leaning towards the seafood side.

For starters we were delighted with warming wild mushroom soup (£3.85). Thick, robust and packed full of flavour. The pumpkin soup (£3.45) was equally tantalising. Roasted pumpkin seeds sprinkled on top gave it a nutty twist.

For mains we had Linguine marinara (£7.95) which arrived impressively ringed by fresh, succulent mussels. The tomato-based sauce was rich and herby, with just the right hint of sweetness. The prawns, scallops and calamari were fresh and flavoursome. A top-notch marinara sauce.

I had the grilled rainbow trout with butter and parsley sauce (£8.75) served with a massive side of roasted potatoes, steamed carrots, beans and cauliflower. Once again this was impeccable and difficult to fault. Trout tasted like it had gasped its last breath that morning. Yup – it was fresh.

What started as a quick lunch, ended as a truly satisfying meal complemented by their light, fruity Italian house red. Altogether we paid £31 for two soups, mains and house red. A warm and friendly Italian local well worth a visit to.

HRH

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SOPHIE'S STEAKHOUSE & BAR

2005-12-06T12:05:00.000Z

311-313 Fulham Road, London SW10 9QH
Tel: 020 7352 0088 (no bookings available)

Opening Times:
Mon - Fri 12 noon - 12 midnight
Sat 11am - 12 midnight.
Sun 11am - 11pm

Nearest tube: Gloucster Road (or Bus 14 towards Chelsea from Fulham Broadway)

Average per head (for breakfast) = £12 including service

Sophie's Steakhouse in Chelsea is somewhat of a local institution. Local Fulhamites flock for its famous steaks (hung for 28 days no less) and with its no booking policy, its accessible to all that are prepared to wait it out. But given its reputation, is the food really up to scratch? Us Culinary Hags give it our collective 4 thumbs up.

Sophie's isn't too intimidating, despite all the yummy mummies and beautiful Chelsea set. The bare brick walls and naked lightbulbs hanging over your heads, it gives off a modern warehouse-y feel which is relaxed and welcoming. On this particular occasion, it was a late brunch we were after - one of our pre-race meals. Yes, due to all this eating both Hags and their growing other halves were participating in another of Nike's Run London 5km race. Anyways, we digress. Outside Sophie's blackboards were tempting us with their offer of an Enligh breakfast for £8.95 with tea or coffee and we couldn't resist. Luckily, our wait was only 10 minutes - enough time to whip the appetite into a frenzy. No dallying around - four english breakfasts with a different assortment of personal egg preferences and of course, a serve of their chunky chips and we were off.

Without too much delay and service with a smile, albeit with a slightly harassed smile our coffees and teas were dispensed. Understandably, most of the wait staff were flying around with large plates of food or dispensing child friendly entertainment. On this particular weekend (or perhaps its every weekend?) Sophie's was choc-a-bloc filled with the uber-trendy Chelsea family set, each with their 2.3 kids in tow. Come on a Friday/Saturday night, its filled with beautiful young things, nary a child in sight. So depending on the setting you're after (cool, trendy crowd or relaxed family feel), choose your times carefully.

After an acceptable wait, four English breakfasts arrived onto a very receptive table. The picture speaks for itself - plump sausage, crispy bacon, mushrooms and 2 lovely eggs - a perfect runner's breakfast or much needed hangover cure. And as we were all running the next day, a side order of chunky chips and jacket potatoes (I think we were going a little overboard with the idea of carbs loading for the run!) completed the meal.

So, if you're after a relaxed Sunday brunch that's both child friendly and trendy at the same time or just after a great steak (on previous occasions, The Man has declared the steaks here one of the best both for quality and value for money) head down to Sophie's your place.

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King's Arms (Revisited)

2005-12-04T22:21:00.000Z

This Other Hag has a confession to make – its hard to bash out new reviews when ones keeps revisiting the local favourites. Well, we haven't really been back to King's arms that often but believe me, with the number of times the intention was there and the old saying about good intentions – our path to hell is clearly marked! Our previous review in May raved about this hidden gem which is seems to still be our local secret.

The King's Arms, although slightly awkward to get to, is your harmless local Young's pub with a difference – the food. Our last visit was certainly no exception to the previous visits – exceptional food, good service with a fantastic price. What more could one ask for? And we've got better news for the fans of Kings Arms. Previously we reported that the main kitchen was closed for weekends – wait for this – they now do a full menu on Sunday, including a Sunday roast.

Since our last visit, the menu has developed and I think that the kitchen has found its rhythm a little more. They offer a simple menu with a limited number of starters and mains as well as a daily specials menu. Normally, it doesn't take too long to choose with such a limited number of choices but it was proving difficult to choose last night. On offer was the prawns and mussels risotto served with bok choi tempura. Equally tempting was the homemade Tuscan sausage and mash on offer. What about the Lamb three ways – shoulder roast served with mash, shepherd's pie and grilled rack lamb with aubergine? God – what a dilemma! With these mains on offer ranging from $8 to £11, its such a local's delight that I'm almost loathe to share this find.

Well, after much deliberation (whilst munching on the complimentary fresh baked raisin & walnut bread, ciabatta AND vegetable crisps – and I wondered why I didn't need starters!) the prawn and mussel risotto was my choice. The unusual golden bok choi tempura sitting on a silken bed of rice with generous pepperings of prawns and mussels was definitely a winner. This dish was definitely as delicious as it looked and it definitely looked sensational. With a portion that is large enough for a healthy appetite - even the Bottomless Pit couldn't finish, its quite worth the £8 by London standards.

The Man fell for the Lamb three ways as it sounded irresistible – 3 ways of lamb on a cold winter's night. Divine – tender lamb, cleverly and beautifully presented, it was too good to be true.

Head down to the King's Arms now before word gets out.

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BLUE THAMES

2005-11-26T03:51:00.000Z

Dolphin House
The Boulevard, Riverside West
Off Smuggler's Way
London
SW18 1DE

Telephone: 020 88713881

Opening Times: Mon - Sun 12pm - 2pm, 6pm - 11pm.
Bank holidays 12pm - 11pm

Nearest Tube: Wandsworths Town BR

This place has always intrigued me. From the outside it appears impressive with its huge glass windows and immaculately set tables. On peering within, its modern interior with extravagant stream complete with fish was always dominated by one glaring peculiarity. It is always empty, regardless of the time of day. Zip. Zope. Nada.

Upon careful perusal of the outside menu I wasn’t impressed. It proudly claims to specialise in Szechuan dishes but the menu dully claims otherwise. Also dishes were priced way above average. The restaurant would have to be bloody good for us to dine there at those prices.

So when Toptable were offering the chance to dine at Blue Thames for 20% off food price, we leapt at the opportunity. We reasoned, if it was dismal, we would never grace its interiors again. But if great – what a fantastical find!

Upon entering, the interior is amazing. In fact I thought it would be fantastic to hire it out for a large function. The design and the ambience reminded me of a grand Hong Kong restaurant. However none of it could mask the stark naked fact that there were only 2 tables occupied (one lone diner and one couple) in this massive restaurant with 2 floors. Very sad indeed. Cue the Western tumbleweeds whispering across the shiny floors.

To cut a long story short. The waiting staff (a sweet looking girl) was woefully below par – she had perfected the art of looking harassed and harried. She successfully ignored our waving failing hands whilst dashing around the three tables occupied. We ordered five dishes as we were ravished and were stunned when the dishes were teeny weenie and frankly below standard for what we were expecting and paying for. We ate every morsel of food – not because we liked it – but because it simply wasn’t enough. Rice as usual, wasn’t free-flow per head, hence came in stingy portions.

In the end we still paid about £15 per head. The bill came without the 20% discount at first, then after much grumbling, was altered. It was still expensive considering we were left ungratified. In the end we had to whip over to The Ship for a much needed stomach-filler of decadent desserts.

I feel sorry for them. Obviously they have to pay an enormous mortgage or rent on the place and feel they have to overcharge on their menu, rather than trying to increase their turnover of patrons. This place could have so much more potential with better food, larger quantities and more efficient waiting staff who were more on the ball. Certainly won’t be fighting the hungry masses to get into this restaurant’s doors.

HRH

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CHINA INN

2005-11-21T18:39:00.000Z

7-9 Newport Place
Covent Garden. WC2H 7JR

Phone no: 020 72873328

Do not even bother your pretty little head with the rest of the menu. China Inn’s seafood curry laksa trounces all competition out of the curry laksa arena. In London at least. .

I know the name implies that it only specialises in Chinese food but bizarrely it offers a not too shabby selection of Malaysian food. A big group of us tried most of the Malaysian dishes and the overall opinion was “don’t bother” – just a half feeble attempt to emulate authentic food but falling dangerously low of expectations.

Their seafood curry laksa however is phenomenal. And believe me, we have tried curry laksas all over London in the vain hope of finding “The One”. Funnily enough they don’t offer any alternatives to seafood (unfortunate for those who mount a massive histamine response to shellfish).

The bowl is monumentally big, certainly enough to place a dent in the largest of appetites. You can order it with whatever noodles you prefer. I recommend half thin rice noodles and half egg noodles. The soup is coconut slavering rich, marked by the richness and fullness in flavour of seafood with the right breath of fieriness. Bounteous amounts of fresh prawns, mussels, tofu, fish cake slices, aubergines and green beans (the last two are new to me in laksa, but believes me, works incredibly well) are provided.

Clientele are mainly non-Chinese. But don’t let this put you off. After all, you’re only here for the laksa. The place is cleanish and service is polite and efficient. Oh and a bowl only sets you back 6 squids.

HRH

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"There is no failure except in no longer trying." ~Elbert Hubbard

2005-11-13T21:12:00.000Z

Sigh. Well bend us over and slap us silly.

I know I know. We have been exceptionally slack. We’ve made promises till we’ve turned blue on how this website was going to be updated at least weekly. Boy have we slipped through the cracks. God what I am saying. Not only have we slipped through the cracks, we have managed to conceptualise a fissure, yelled “Yipee, wot is this now?” and have plummeted unwittingly into a cavernous fault-line.

Now if either of us were blessed with “over-the shoulder-boulder-holders” ie. big boobs, we could:

a) Don a slinky “toight” outfit, lean over enticingly sandwiching our “assets” with our upper arms and simper ever so sweetly, “I’m sooo sorry, how could you ever forgive us?” OR
b) Just bend over

But alas, neither of us are blessed in that arena or planning a lifetime of faecal incontinence.

So pathetically, I can only list the reasons for our absence:

1) Blood sweat and tears are being shed for the Run London programme. We figure this is the most motivating way to get into shape for an impending wedding and to pass a mum’s critical eye test (A poor fat bastard’s last ditch attempt to fool his mum into thinking he is a fit trim running machine on an annual trip back to Perth- his words, not mine). We’re deadly serious about this too. Ran the 10km successfully in Hyde Park and plan to leg it for the 5km soon!
2) Shopping – should be fun, but maybe not so when you’re scrambling for wedding attire.
3) Dance classes – for the dreaded First Dance
4) Lack of internet connection. The Other Hag’s excuse. But no longer.
5) Work – yada yada yada….

After not blogging for 2 months, I honestly believed, hand on my heart, that the number of people visiting our site would have fizzled out. To my utter amazement, people have been paying us a visit more than ever. A few pictures on the site have gone awol, but other than that…no one seemed to have noticed our absence. (Maybe the key here is not to blog at all?)

To my dismay however, The Other Hag and I have missed out on a great event organised by Sam of Becks and Posh (hope Fred is feeling much better). She was visiting London all the way from the good ol’ USA and had organised all the English food bloggers to get together on the 5th Nov at Gordon’s Wine Bar. Sigh. Just a tad shy too late. Sorry! But thank you for the invite. Will definitely try to make it next time you guys meet up.

So I will leave you with that. The Other Hag and I will try to desperately amend our ways. Thank you to those who sporadically check to see if we’re still alive and functional.

Much love...HRH

IF ONLY I COULD FIT IN JUST ONE MORE THING...

2005-09-02T12:58:00.000+01:00

Went on a little food shopping spree before I jet set back home. I always do. London does have a few stores - namely one in Hammersmith (I think) and Convent Garden - selling Aussie produce. But they are always exorbitantly priced and the last time I bought Burger Rings from them - it was stale. It was a highly charge emotional moment, goddammit!

So I always try to equip myself with the basic essentials to at least survive a few more months in London. I'm sorry - UK snacks aren't on the same eschelons as the Down Under ones. They're really boring! I guess it all boils down to upbringing and what you were used to as a child growing up.

Now I have to figure out a way to cram them into my limited luggage space. Even worse still, will the Tim Tams survive the Malaysian heat?

HRH

DOLCISSIMO

2005-08-30T02:44:00.000+01:00

98 Haberfield Ramsay St
Haberfield. Sydney.

BYO

We took Perth Haggers here to this wonderful Italian restaurant. Previously people have complained about the slow service, but I am happy to say that this wasn't the case on the two occasions I have been.

For starters, the salt and pepper calamari serving came out like a full course. It was massive. Tasty but the coating was a little limp and moist.

The garlic prawns were a hit. Infused into every pore of the fresh, crunchy prawns was the wonderful garlic taste (do prawns have pores?).

Perth Haggers had the scallop and pumpkin rissoto. She described it as perfect and creamy with generous large pieces of scallop and pumpkin. Even so, she struggled to finish it. Can you imagine that? Even the mighty Perth Hag actually struggled to finish her food. She blamed it on the wonderful freshly baked crusty bread served with the starters.

Both my parents had the pan-fried veal which came ladden with vegetables and three whole pieces of tender veal. Everyone had trouble finishing it but declared it a triumph.

I also, opted for a very traditionl dish. Tender, melt in your mouth veal with eggplant and mozzarella and a tomato base. Divine.

We had promised ourselves from the beginning that we must have dessert. The restaurant at the front has a very enticing cake, pastry and gelato display. I'll have to be ultra-lazy here and refer you to Pinkcocoa Tabetai's website, a food blogger from Sydney who has better dessert pics than I have. Thanks Pinkcocoa! We were in danger of vomit regurg so we settled on three flavours of gelato - hazelnut, bacci and stachitella (can't spell that last one). Miraculously our vomit warning level was increased and we found it very easy to digest the wonderful gelato. Funny that.

HRH

Hell

2005-08-28T19:08:00.000+01:00

No, this isn't a post about a new eatery around town. Its a quick note:

Moving House

Is

H..E..L..L

That is all.

TOH

Fico

2005-08-25T18:29:00.000+01:00

Fico (Italian Bar, Pizzeria and Grill)
263 Putney Bridge Road
London
SW15 2PU

Tel: 020 8780 1585

Nearest tube/rail: Putney Bridge/Putney BR

Putney high street is teeming with bars, cafes and restaurants. Most appetites and culinary cravings could possible be satisfied by the number of different restaurants along. Crave tapas or Japanese? A few steps along and there's bound to be a restaurant which will make you happy. Well, its not an iron clad guarantee but I bet you that most of the time you'll find something. Fico is a new addition to the bustling restaurant/bar/cafe scene in Putney and it offers an italian pizzeria/grill/bar combo to the discerning public. Set off the high street - far enough for an intimate dinner away from the main traffic but close enough to spit to really.

NOTE: This hag is in the middle of moving so pictures will be up once the all the PC bits are together again!

On the face of it, this trendy bar/restaurant is quite inviting and pleasant to the eye - dark wood floors, unassuming background music and polite waitstaff. There's even a shiny new stainless steel wood (?) fired oven, just waiting for pizza orders to be filled. The menus presented to us were quite utilitarian and seems to specialise in pizzas. Not a single pasta dish in sight with smatterings of salads and typical grilled meat options. As we were a hungry mob, we ordered their antipasto plate to share for starters before giving the our main courses some serious consideration.

For a Friday night, business was quite slow and one would think that it would be easier to get someone's attention to place our orders. But after much waiting around and flailing of arms, we managed to place our orders and get some wine. Again, after what seemed like a eon, our starters arrived and quite a decent size it was too. Unfortunately, it wasn't something worth waiting for and was only quite average. Dried out parma ham with some wrinkled olives was so-so and nothing to write home about. At around £7 you could have done better else where.

For mains, there were two orders of steak - usual meat and two vege with a little italian spin by way of some tossed rocket salad. Overall, not too impressed as it was quite average.

Both steaks were supposed to be medium but I think that the kitchen might need a little more quality control. One steak was still almost bloody whilst the other was a little tough to boot.

The Man had a craving for pizza and opted for the Florentine - spinach with an nicely cooked egg. Again, disappointing as a little bland and quite average.

For my mains I decided on a nice Niscoise salad - well, it sounded quite delish with a nice grilled tuna steak with a poached egg. Well, after everyone had received their mains (and what a time that took!) I was left hungry for quite some time, with no explaination. A couple of times the waiter promised that it would be a few more minutes before coming out one last time to apologise that the chef had ruined the poached egg and asked for patience whilst he perfected another one. Great - a restaurant with slow service and rude waiters who can't even apologise properly.

Anyways, eventually my Niscoise came and perhaps out of pique, I didn't enjoy it much. The poached egg was fine but served separately to the rest of the salad. Yes, it was done quite well but a poached egg is still a poached egg and doesn't seem to go well with this salad. At around £8 for the salad, its pretty average.

So at the end of the night, a disappointing meal and experience - save yourself for other places around Putney.

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Sienna Marina

2005-08-24T12:48:00.000+01:00

Shop 6, 7-41 Cowper Wharf Road. Woolloomooloo. Sydney

Telephone: 02 93586299

How many 'O's' in Woolloomooloo? Yes, that's right - eight. Remember that.

Down the road from Harry's Cafe De' Wheels (practically an Aussie icon synoymous with meat pies and hot dogs) lies this restaurant. Across the road is the ultra-modern, glamourous hotel simply called "W". It houses the Woolloomooloo Wharf which comprises of a whole string of restaurants offering alfresco dining with stunning views across the marina to the city.

On a Saturday brunchtime after a relaxing stroll through the Botannical Gardens we were disappointed to find most of the restaurant packed to the rafters with locals with more foresight than us. Dejected we wandered across the road to Sienna Marina.

A restaurant offering mainly Italian food - pastas, pizzas (the usual flavours and gourmet) and the like. We were pleasantly surprised when it arrived.

Chilli garlic prawn pizza was a hit. The prawns were large, fresh and not over-cooked. You must wrap your tastebuds around these.

The pancetta, rocket and parmesan pizza was a little disappointing - too salty.

The chicken salad was average.

The preparation of the calamari rocket salad was a twist from the usual. More like the salt and pepper squid of chinese restaurants. Nevertheless, worked quite well.

Will have to come back again and try their other pizzas and pastas. Trade off, I guess is that there is no glamourous marina view to cast your eyes fondly over. But what the hey.

HRH

Thanh Binh

2005-08-23T13:40:00.000+01:00

52a John St
Cabramatta. Sydney.

Cabramatta has grown enormously over the past 10 years. Known for its massive Vietnamese community and unfortunately, for the violence of its gangs.

You can't miss a bowl of good Pho...all you have to do is swing a cat on a short string in a horizontal plane...and you're guaranteed to score yourself a place. On this occasion we ventured into Thanh Binh. I didn't used to go here for Pho - usually go to Pho 54. But Perth Hag wanted to try out Thanh Binh's stewed duck egg noodle. In the past, Thanh Binh was famous for it.

Alas, Perth Hag's highly trained gustatory senses did not think much of the duck noodles. "Soup isn't herby enough. Perth has better" she said. So there you go. Off to Perth you go...

I on the other hand order the trusty Pho Tai. Exactly how I wanted it to be and very satisfying. I think you can't go wrong with most restaurants in Cabramatta for Pho - they all seem to be of the same standard.

After we gandered over to the now reduced BKK supermarket. Now it's not so super and is just a market. We went over to the Laotian sweet stall and scored these goodies. Sorry, I don't know what they are called but believe me, all are delicious and cholesterol ridden. All seem to have a thick lashing of coconut cream on top.

These were prettily wrapped in banana leaves. One was a taro based dessert with coconut cream on top. The other was green sticky rice - sweet and coconuty taste. Both I would definitely have again.

We meandered down the streets and multiple alleyways some more, oohing and arrhing at the many seafood, sweets, fruit and vege stalls - and believe me there are heaps. Feeling a bit parched from all the MSG earlier we had some freshly squeezed or pulped sugar cane juice. Always refreshing.

You definitely need more than a day to appreciate Cabramatta and the food it has to offer. I reckon you need a good year to sample the many other delicacies it has to offer. Sigh, I only wish London had somewhere like this.

HRH

BLUE ORANGE

2005-08-22T15:50:00.000+01:00

49 Hall St, Bondi.Sydney.

Ph 9300 9885

Breakfast & lunch Wed-Sun, dinner
Tues-Sat 6.30pm-late, dinner & jazz Sun
Licensed & BYO wine, corkage $3.50 per person
No bookings breakfast & lunch on weekends

Plush modern chilled out cafe/restaurant. Wooden tables and chairs with lounge type seating around the sides. Been there twice now and have always been impressed with the salads.

You have to try the couscous, roasted pumpkin, pinenuts, french beans, asparagus and rocket salad. A light salad, but with gorgeous flavours. The sweet roasted pumpkin was definitely the highlight of the dish.

My other companions had the salmon salad - a large fillet of salmon perfectly grilled to pinkness inside.

Another one had the glass noodle salad with chicken, cherry tomatoes, sesame seeds and doused with a soy sauce dressing. I was initially skeptical at first, but immediately regretted my skepticism upon feasting my eyes on it. Tried a bit and it was deliciously fresh, light on the soy sauce and generous with their portions of chicken.

Haven't tried their other meals, but judging from the quality of their salads - it's definitely a safe bet. And yes, Haggers, it hasn't escaped me that there's a Blue Orange in Fulham, London. This one in Bondi at night, it may be possible to get plastered in style too.

HRH

PHO

2005-08-20T18:48:00.000+01:00

86 St John St
Clerkenwell
EC1M 4EH
Email: info@phocafe.co.uk

Tel: 020 7253 7624 (no bookings)

Nearest Tube/Rail: Barbican/Farringdon

Average: £12 (2 courses, inc. non alcoholic drink)

PHO - the name of Vietnam's national soul food. The self proclaimed "Vietnam in a bowl" cafe/restaurant has a lot to live up to, and being only 6 weeks old its definitely trying hard.

About 6 months ago, I stumbled upon an article in the Metro about a chain of Vietnamese restaurants called Pho from the good ol' U S of A which was about to launch its flagship store somewhere in London. Well, finally the mothership has landed. For those loyal readers, you can probably guess that the Hags rate Vietnamese food quite highly and are always in search for the perfect pho. So once we'd found out that Pho had arrived, we wasted no time in getting our grubbly paws on a steaming bowl of goodness. For the uninitiated pho (pronouced "fuh") is probably the most well known Vietnamese dish. On the back of its simple menu, PHO describes it as the national soul food of Vietnam and it also delves more into the history of pho. The combined influence of the French and Chinese resulted in this divine bowl of broth, beef (usually)and noodles. For those looking for more on this, check out the Pho King.

Educational as well as functional, the simple menu presented us with a choice of about 7 different types of pho ranging from variations of beef (meatballs, sliced beef, brisket etc), chicken, prawns and even a vegetarian. This Hag was also surprised by the the last pho entry of Pho Bo Hue - a traditional spicy soup based noodle dish which doesn't often make an appearance. Price for a bowl of pho ranges from around £6-£8, which isn't too bad considering that its right in the city.

For those who aren't so keen on the noodle soup concept, PHO also offers 4 different Bun dishes (vermicelli rice noodles with hot marinated toppings and herbs) which are normally served chilled and also Bahn Mi - the traditional Vietnamese sandwich. Again this was a surprise entry as these sandwiches, often with hot fillings such as meatballs, chicken and pork, are hard to find. Going backwards, the menu also offers a few traditional starters such as summer rolls (fresh rice paper rolls), fried spring rolls and Vietnamese savoury crepes filled with crunchy bean sprouts, chicken and prawns. Overall the menu, although not extensive, was still quite impressive. PHO claims to try and maintain the high quality of pho served by devoting its attention on its signature dish - pho.

So 6 weeks after its grand opening, Pho has attracted quite a following. The Man and myself arrived to find no available tables but offered to wait. The staff were attentive and apologetic as they don't operate on bookings but rather a first come, first serve basis. So whilst waiting for a free table, we had time to decide what we wanted to sample tonight. The wait for a table wasn't too arduous as after 10 minutes we were shown to our table with our orders ready. Once seated, the Man was delighted to find that like most traditional (well, Western type traditional - I doubt that you might find these on the streets of Hanoi!) Vietnamese cafes, each table was set with the pre-requisite bottle of vietnamese bbq and chilli sauce.

Well, it was definitely a good start anyways. After our drinks orders were dispensed - traditional vietnamese coffee and home made lemonade, both excellent - we got down to business. For starters, we'd settled on a serve of prawn summer rolls and a Vietnamese crepe with chicken and prawns. Both arrived quite promptly, even though our waiter had informed us that the crepe may take a couple minutes longer than the rolls it wasn't too long before we could tuck in.

The summer rolls were light and definitely tasty, although the accompanying dipping sauce lacked the usual punch. More fish sauce please! The crepe looked fantastic and went down well, but again the accompanying dipping sauce (nuoc cham) lacked the characteristic salty punch - defintely the lightweight version of what we're accustomed to.

For our mains, The Man had to have his fix of pho and settled on Pho Tai - sliced beef noodle soup. I'd decided to try their Bun dishes and went for the Bun with juicy prawns (who can resist juicy prawns, I ask ya?). Again, both mains arrived quite swiftly after our starters were cleared away, which was fine by us as we were quite hungry. Our anticipation for Vietnamese had whetted the appetite and cravings to a frenzy and the time had come.

And the verdict.....a little disappointing. Don't get us wrong, both dishes were quite nice but again, lack the punch and felt quite under spiced. The Pho Tai broth lacked depth, but perhaps it could be due to it being a fresh batch. Our waiter had informed us that they'd been so busy tonight that they'd had to break out their extra stash from the fridge. My vermicelli rice noodles came with all the right accompaniments and the prawns were indeed juicy and quite a generous portion too, I might add. But as with the starters, the accompanying dipping sauce (again nuoc cham) lacked the punch and was quite plain. Towards the end, I gave up eating it as I just got bored. Yes, believe it or not, I got bored of eating it.

Overall, our meal wasn't a total disappointment - the starters were nice, if a little bland. But for a restaurant/cafe to hang its mantle on being pho specialists, its still got some way to go.

TOH

MALAY CHINESE TAKEAWAY

2005-08-19T07:56:00.000+01:00

The Castlereigh Street branch has now moved to Shop 1, 50-58 Hunter Street, Sydney
(near corner of Bligh and Castlereagh Streets)
Tel: +61 (02) 9231 6788

Shop 1, 37 Bligh Street (corner Hunter Street), Sydney City.
Telephone: 9231 6788

Monday to Friday 11am-7.30pm
Saturday 11am-6pm

You would probably have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to have heard of this ultra-famous joint selling hawker style food. There are now three shops - one in Haymarket, one in Castlereagh St and now one on Hunter St. Everyone agrees that the Castlereagh shop (suitably a few doors down from Channel) is the best.

This eatery seems to be family owned. A few years back I remember they had even roped in their elderly grandmother (looked about 101) to clear away the dirty dishes. Weathered with deep creases but just as strong as a Chinese Olympic swimmer (without the 'roids).

Go there during lunch hour and you'll be battling for a place to land your tush. You can see heaps of suits with bibs fashionably drapped around their necks slurping away with their bowls of laksa. Avoid lunch hour and wearing white shirts (curry stains are hell to get rid of - don't even think it's possible).

They are famous for two dishes. Their curry laksa and har mee. They have chicken (my fav), beef, bean curd, seafood laksa. The average price of a bowl of noodles is $7.80 - pretty cheap.

Brought Perth Hag here, who considers herself to be an authoritarian on the matter of Malaysian hawker food. She declared both dishes (eaten on separate occasions, even though she begged to have both at one sitting - that's gluttony huh?) a great success. We both found it hard not to slurp the soup broth left.

The har mee is only served on Tuesdays, Saturdays and Sundays. Its soup is rich and aromatic with the flavour of pork bones and prawn heads. You can ask for egg or rice noodles or a mix of both (both is better). They give generous servings of prawn and pork slices with a topping of pork skin crackling. Of course there is the obligatory half egg. Definitely the best bowl of har mee in Australia (and probably UK as well).

The chicken curry laksa is equally as rich and inviting as the har mee. Generous serves of succulent tender chicken breast pieces floating in an oily cholesterol-ridden coconut curry broth. The three pieces of deep-fried tofu soak up the broth like sponges. Arrhhhh....pure bliss.

Their char kway teow is pretty good too.

They have other dishes too, but never tried them. Can't bring myself to leave there without a laksa or har mee in my tummy.

A must to go to if you ever visit Sydney. You won't be dissapointed.

HRH

KIRAKU

2005-08-18T15:44:00.000+01:00

197 Military Rd. Neutral Bay. Sydney

Telephone: 02 9953 4059

Average price: Entrees $5-8, mains around $15

BYO

Quaint little place run by Japanese. They offer authentic cuisine with a small twist and turn here and there to keep you guessing. Enough to keep you intrigued and on your toes. Their menu is extensive and if that’s not enough, a whiteboard lists more specials for the day.

Spinach

Eel

Agedashi Tofu

Slices of half cooked beef

Slices of duck

Egg and bitter melon (not my fav, but you might like it)

Whitebait tempura

Oyster gyoza - unusual taste sensation

One of the most unusual desserts I've eaten. A total 180 on the traditional banana fritter. This one has banana coated in red bean paste, then wrapped in seaweed and battered in light tempura. Divine.

A great place for Japanese food, certainly a little unusual in their selection in combinations. Also a cosy atmosphere with efficient and friendly service.

HRH

The Great Australian Bite

2005-08-16T03:05:00.000+01:00

HRH

MEHREY DA DHABA

2005-08-15T15:45:00.000+01:00

466 Cleveland St, Surry Hills. Sydney.

Telephone: 02 93196260

This restaurant's menu focuses more on North Indian food, but turn towards the back and they offer a small range of Southern food as well. The night we were there, it was quite crowded, including a few young Indian families.

We weren't that hungry so passed on the bread and just had plain rice.

For starters, we had the masala dosa - a classic Indian dish - rather like a crepe stuffed with potatoes. You then spoon the lentil and coconut chutney on it. Delicious. They had other kinds of dosa with different fillings as well.

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For mains we had a whole tandoori fish, whick was moist and full of flavour.

Bhuna lamb curry. I can take hot, but this was quite chilli hot. Nice depth to the curry sauce. A shame the lamb wasn't more tender.

We decided to go for something new. Malu Kofta are potato and cottage cheese dumplings stuffed with cashews and sultanas. Very heavy as you would expect, but broken up with the sweetness of the sultanas.

An authentic place for Indian food and good value as well.

Next door is Maya Masala which serves Southern Indian vegetarian food - so you have your dosa, dals, curries, raita,cucumber salad. There are two "thalis" - one South Indian and one Punjabi - that are trays with 6 or 7 dishes on them plus one or two types of bread - for $12. On weekends they make chaat or "street snack", including traditional desserts. It is strictly self-service and plasma screens around play Bollywood movies giving it a nice vibe. However, many do complain about the slow service (may take 30mins before your food reaches the table, even though it is self-service) and the rude, disinterested staff. Still, it doesn't seem to daunt many Indian families. Definitely not a place to bring a hot date.

HRH

MOHR AND MOHR

2005-08-13T15:24:00.000+01:00

204 Devonshire St, Surry Hills. Sydney.
Telephone: 02 83990887
Hours: Mon to Fri Noon-10:30pm, Sat-Sun 9am to late
Licensed and BYO ($5 corkage)
Mains: $15.50 - $24

This is the parent restaurant of the famous Mohr Fish (220 Devonshire St). Mohr Fish is just like your local fish and chips joint - no frills. People line up for ages just waiting to get a takeaway. Choices are extensive, fish is extremely fresh. It serves up one of the best fish and chips in Sydney.

We went to their main restaurant, Mohr and Mohr, for dinner one evening. The chef is German and the decor of the restaurant certainly reflects this.

For starters we had a bowl of mussels with onion and garlic. Fresh and tasty.

Duck pate was lovely with a refreshing side of apple and walnut salad. Went down very well with the serve of crusty hot bread.

All the fish mains were excellently cooked. Once again the fish was very fresh. We had the rudder fish with mango salsa and the John Dory with red grapes and pine nuts. Both very tasty dishes.

One of the other mains was the lamb shank. Good...but that was about it. Not as tender as we would have liked. Not the best I've eaten.

The highlight was definitely the desserts. My parents and aunt were in raptures over the cherry pancakes. Not actually pancakes being much higher, puffier and denser using of course fresh cherries. The waiter told us that this was one of the chef's German hometown specialities.

The tiramisu was another hit. Dense, rich and creamy. The way I like it.

A good place to go if you're a fan of fresh fish done simply but well. They don't seem to be well known for their other dishes. Oh, and give the desserts a go.

HRH

Move over Krispy Kreme

2005-08-11T10:41:00.000+01:00

Yup, Sydney has massive Krispy Kreme franchises everywhere. Complete with drive in. But that's not what I yearn for when I'm over in the UK. I drool over the thought of sugar and cinnamon doughnuts which are omnipresent in practically every bakery and doughnut store. Of course, best eaten when they've just been deep fried and piping hot. Not oily at all. Fattening? Hell yeah.

HRH

THE BOOK KITCHEN

2005-08-10T03:01:00.000+01:00

255 Devonshire St, Surry Hills. Sydney

Website: The Book Kitchen

Not a unique concept to have a café/restaurant with cookery books available for perusing or buying. But this establishment chooses to use organic and free-range products whenever they can.

To quote from their website: “The The Book Kitchen is the result of passionate chefs travelling the world experiencing culinary delights when and wherever possible. David Campbell worked for Tetsuya in London and transferred to the US to continue the concept for Millennium Hotels. After experiencing in New York how restaurant menus can be so produce driven, David knew it was time to start sharing his passion with fellow foodies. Time in London and Europe showed just how much Australians miss out on food literature. Not just cookbooks but novels, reference guides, photographic journals, foreign language books and professional texts. We have sourced bio-dynamic eggs from Havago farm in Oberon, use Country Valley organic milk in our coffee, use line caught fish and other ecologically sustainable produce.”

We sauntered over here for a casual Sunday brunch – yes it was nearing 3pm, but our minds and stomachs were hankering for some brunch. Nothing like it. Sipping on your café latte, casually flicking through the Sunday paper – the essence of which is – you have all the time in the world. No rush. No muss.

You can see from their website their extensive and impressive menu that you’re spoilt for choice.

I choose the Spanish style baked eggs, with tomato, capsicum, smoked paprika and oregano on a slice of thick organic bread. A substantial meal bursting with flavour.

Mum choose the perfectly poached eggs on a very thick piece of heaven-sent multi-grain bread.

Dad picked the egg and bacon roll with roast tomato chutney. Could be the best egg and bacon roll I have ever had. It was so good, I had half of it. The roast tomato chutney definitely gave it the edge.

Over our coffees, we couldn’t resist a thick slice of their chocolate and macadamia nut cake. Moist, dense with a semolina like texture with the crunch of the fresh nuts. Not too sweet as well. Just heavenly.

I highly recommend this place for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Just be careful that you don’t spill anything on their books. My dad spilt red wine on two books last time. Now we’re the proud owners of the ‘River Café Cook Book Easy’ by Rose Gray and Ruth Rogers and ‘Shane Osborn’s Starters’.

HRH

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Yeah, this side is much greener over here

2005-08-08T10:32:00.001+01:00

Sigh. Shopping in just an average supermarket in Australia, reminds me of the starkness and lack of variety represented in UK's food supermarkets. Even Waitrose's fruit and vege section can't compete. And the seafood range here still bowls me over. I miss those huge fat juicy raw prawns...you would have to sell your baby on Ebay to afford these in London...and they ain't half as sweet. Sigh.

HRH

TSUKASA

2005-08-08T02:04:00.000+01:00

75 Military Rd, Neutral Bay. Sydney.

Telephone: 02 99537317

Minimum charge: $15 per person

BYO: $2 per person

Military road has a whole plethora of Japanese restaurants. We were in uncharted territory after having been rejected from a restaurant we had failed to book beforehand. Nevermind. This unexpected find is equivalent to the pleasure of finding a $100 bill in a old pair of jeans.

We choose this restaurant purely because it was bustling to the brim with Japanese and Chinese clientele. Told ya – can’t go wrong.

Perusing their menu it looks like they have all the standard fare. You have your teriyakis, hot pots, tempura, dinner boxes, sushi, sashimi. What attracts the eye is their wall peppered with white paper proclaiming their specials. Soft shell crab ($12), oyster sushi ($3 per piece), grilled salmon head ($8), beef udon ($14), grilled kingfish ($10), grilled squid ($8), beef tongue ($7), white bait tempura ($8), snapper head in sake ($10), tempura prawn rolls ($8), sea urchin ($13), eel sushi (4 pieces $12, 8 pieces $22), chicken soft bone ($7), kaisen nabe ($28 per person).

My parents aren’t fans of sashimi – I know, blasphemy as far the prince consort is concerned. So we went for cooked options. I have to say, eyeing other tables devouring the sashimi (the people that is, not the wood– it looked fresh and mouth-watering. I’m sure it is.

We had a plate of sea urchin. If you haven’t experience the pleasure before you must. Soft, cold, melt-in-your mouth experience. A unique taste, very hard to define. Have it with a squeeze of lemon to accentuate the flavour.

Agedashi Tofu. Beautifully done. We relished the smoothness of the tofu.

Eel sushi. You must try this! Huge sushi rolls with raw salmon and egg within, topped with a generous portion of sweet eel.

The Kaisen Nabe or hot pot came as a pleasant shock. The platter of raw ingredients was massive. The platter had king prawns, sting ray, salmon head, minced pork, udon, octopus, tofu, bean sprouts, Chinese cabbage and Chinese greens loaded to the max. It was indeed an intimidating sight. Basically the hot pot of sweet soup sits on a gas burner and you start throwing in what you want into the boiling soup. My dad proclaimed it as the best hot pot he has ever had. Yes, I know – a mighty claim indeed. All ingredients were obviously fresh. Even the mince was marinated well and had a sweetish taste. It was touch and go here and there, but between the three of us we managed to finish it all. A word of warning – a portion for 2 people is more than enough for 4 people.

The bill came back as $112 for 3 people with a bottle of the restaurant’s own wine. Extremely good value for the quality of food we received. Service is friendly, cheerful and efficient. Will definitely go back and try out their other delicacies on offer.

HRH

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Itsu (Soho)

2005-08-08T01:20:00.000+01:00

103 Wardour Street, Soho
London W1F 0UQ
Tel: 020 7479 4790

Nearest Tube: Picadilly Circus

Other branches: Chelsea, South Kensington, Canary Wharf

www.itsu.co.uk (for other locations details)

Average price per head: 18 (including one beer)

Its to my shame that there’s been so little activity on Culinary Hags from my part. Poor excuses really but the contributing factors of flat hunting, packing and work have all resulted in this poor blog being ignored for a bit. No excuse really and as you can tell, Her Royal Hagness’s is going strong from Sydney, which has shamed me into action. Anyways, enough waffling and lets get on with it.

Throw a stick at any restaurant in Soho and its likely to be a Japanese one. After an afternoon of my second favourite form of exercise i.e. shopping, it was time for a little refreshment of the beverage kind before contemplating dinner choices. We were an odd party of 6 – some of us had a late lunch and some of us, despite the late lunch were quite famished. The solution – head for a Japanese restaurant with the pre-requisite conveyer belt. That way, each person could appease their own appetites as they liked. After wandering around Soho for a bit, we stumbled across Itsu and headed in.

It was our lucky our day – we were a party of 6 and Itsu has only 1 table which could have accommodated the 6 of us. We were shown to our table to this half full restaurant and quite literally, within minutes the whole restaurant was filled and buzzing. Our waitress came to take our drinks order quite promptly after we were seated and to both the Man and Prince Consort’s delight Itsu served the elusive Asahi Black beer.

Once our drinks orders had been dispensed, it was time to help ourselves to the delectable looking dishes on offer. Like most of these places, utensils were just at our finger tips and if we were lacking anything, with a press of a button, we could summon help anytime. As well as the many plates of food being conveyed around the restaurant, there was also a small ala carte menu for those who specifically want something that can’t be found. For our party, firstly 3 serves of sashimi were ordered to whet our appetites.

The generous pieces of bright orange salmon were welcomed with open arms and devoured in a blink of an eye. Fresh and tasty, it took the edge off the hunger pangs but it was definitely not enough. Having this first just whetted the appetites for more and it was a good thing that all the other food was at our fingertips. After that, no holds were barred as our table was filled with plates of sushi, sashimi and other offerings quicker than a blink of an eye. Maki rolls, salmon rolls, California rolls - all the typical offerings – we gobbled it up. Who said that we weren’t hungry?

To give Itsu credit, as well as the typical sushi fare it had also had some unique offerings. Crystal rolls (vietnamese rice paper used instead of rice) filled with duck, spicy tuna and crab, steamed spinach rolls served with an interesting sauce and a poppy seed encrusted salmon maki roll which was barely sealed on the outside on a bed of interesting leaves just to name a few.

Also something different was a dish of raw salmon marinated in a dressing of sesame oil and some soy – delicious.

Also something a little different was the lightly seared tuna with chives on a bed of mixed leaves. The seared outside takes a bit of the edge off the “raw” taste yet was still fresh enough for the hardcore sashimi fans.

At the end of the night, the damage was around 20 per person, including a beer each. Its not too bad value – a little more expensive than say Kulu Kulu or Yo! Sushi. But if you want to head somewhere where you can grab a quick bite with not too many surprises on its menu, head to Itsu. It’s standard Japanese fast food but at least you know what you’re getting.

TOH

Pasteur

2005-08-07T14:57:00.000+01:00

709 George St, Haymarket. Sydney

So you're shopping or catching a movie on George St and suddenly you have the totally rational itch for a steaming bowl of Pho. Where do you go? Look no further than Pastuer. You can't miss it with its Vegas neon lights. Always packed to the rafters in the afternoons, it offers a decent bowl of Pho. Don't be misled into thinking that the service will be good though. It's sometimes bloody awful. They will try to ignore you, slam down your bowls, scream at you if you're eating too slow, make you wait for your bill...but it's all in good fun.

Anyway it's safer than braving the gang warfare of Sydney's Vietnamese suburb - Cabramatta. A mission the Perth hag and I will soon be accomplishing.

HRH

Café Zoe

2005-08-04T15:26:00.000+01:00

688 Bourke Street, Surry Hills. Sydney

Telephone: 8399 0940
Opening Hours: Breakfast & lunch Mon-Sat, dinner Tues-Sat
Licensed, BYO wine, corkage $3 per person

Directions: From Central Station, turn right into Elizabeth St then left into Cleveland St. After several blocks, turn left into Bourke St. A 15-minute walk.

Been to this crackin’ breakie/brunch/lunch place a few times already. Very popular with the locals and always max to the brim – even on weekdays. Atmosphere is always buzzing with relaxed Sydneysiders enjoying a hearty meal. Very simply furnished with dark wooden furniture, this joint thrives in its roaring trade. Simple, fresh meals mainly specializing in breakfast, brunch and lunch keeps them coming back. Ideal for suburban couples and families, just kicking back and enjoying each others company.

The menu is quite extensive and there’s enough there to satisfy everyone. Breakfast ranges from their unique blend of muesli, banana bread, muffins to their traditional fry-up. They have quite a large range of unique salads and soups as well on offer. Substantial meals of fish, meat, pasta are also well represented. A blackboard menu proclaims the special of the day. Try their concoction of fresh juices.

One day I had the angel hair pasta ($15) with olive oil, garlic, chili, parmesan and parsley. Superb, but I thought they could have been a little braver with the chili allotment – but that’s me.

My mum had the grilled blue-eyed cod ($20)with seeded mustard accompanied with a garden salad, new potatoes and chickpeas. Perfection in its simplicity.

They’re opened for dinner too but somehow don’t do as well there. Probably because the furnishing and ambience is more suited to a daytime crowd. Well worth it though it you’re in the area.

HRH

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THE WATER DOES SWIRL THE OTHER WAY!

2005-08-04T14:21:00.000+01:00

Salutations to all from Sydney. Finally have some time to put up some blogs. As usual with my family, the main focus is on eating…and eating well. An ageless ritual steeped in tradition. Don’t really have time to do in-depths reviews, but will just give you the gist of things.

Dining out in Sydney, over the years, ever since the 2000 Olympics has become quite an expensive affair. Thank god I can divide by two and a half from the mighty Pound. It is quite usual to have a main course for about $15-25 at your average restaurant. Dollar for dollar, pound for pound – just imagine the burn in your pocket.

But while it may not come cheaply, it more than makes up in the freshness and variety of ingredients and the remarkable ingenuity of its chefs. I have to say, compared to London – Sydney wins hands down. From the humble local café to the biggest restaurant names – eating experiences never fails to stun my senses. Melbonnites and Perthians are welcome to argue. But I think we can all agree that Aussies do it best. We practically invented the BYO culture. No more forcing to fork out for marked-up restaurant wines that you think you may like.

Look out for coming reviews. It will muck up the “Culinary Hags in London” bit…but at least it’s something to keep the blogging going.

HRH

And the winner is.....Sydney (aka Siddeney)!

2005-07-25T23:40:00.000+01:00

The skies over London town are a little darkened by the departure of her Royal Hagness, who has returned to her hometown of Sydney with the sights of blue skies, the Opera House and Harbour bridge to greet her. Sadly for us, its going to be a long absence but luckily for the Culinary Hags more antipodean reviews will be forthcoming - I'm sure that she's doing valuable research (ahem - eating) for future reviews.

So, her Royal Hagness - eat well, drink lots and soak up the sun (even though winter is approaching). We're all missing you.

LAUREATE CHINESE RESTAURANT

2005-07-22T10:00:00.000+01:00

64 Shaftsbury Avenue
London W1D 6RU

Tel: 020 7437 5088
Fax: 020 7437 5882

Nearest Tube: Leicester Square/Piccadilly Circus

Average Price: 10-15 per head (ex. alcohol)

Dim sum is the traditional Sunday lunch for most Chinese families around the world. In London, walking along Chinatown the number of restaurants offering Dim Sum on the weekends is staggering. Laureate Chinese Restaurant, sitting on the corner of Wardour and Shaftsbury Avenue, is just one of the many eateries in Chinatown offering good value dim sum in better than average surroundings.

On a busy Sunday afternoon, one would be hard pressed to find an empty Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. Locals and tourists alike flock to this well know landmark to feast on the many delectable treats on offer. “Dim Sum” translated from the Cantonese dialect literally means a touch of the heart. However in this respect is the Chinese version of the tasting menu. There are scores of dishes on offer and each portion is only small. The idea is that each dish selected is to be shared amongst the whole table so that everyone gets to sample more dishes. A typical meal to satisfy 4 people would normally require about 8-10 different selections of dim sum, obviously depending on the appetites its feeding.

On this occasion, this Hag was supposed to meet some family and as they were in the business (restaurant business that is), they’d recommended the Laureate. This restaurant was relatively new to the Chinatown scene and it definitely showed. Pristine white table cloths with smart décor and smartly dressed wait staff looked inviting. Unlike quite a lot of Chinese restaurants around the area, we weren’t treated to the usual rude behavior nor the barking orders from wait staff but rather the friendlier smiles and service. Hopefully this type of service is here to stay as often with new restaurants, they start off with the best intentions and it deteriorates with time.

Anyways, enough waffling – getting down to the business at hand. As we were with someone familiar with the restaurant, we’d left the ordering to her and magically after 15 minutes, all sorts of delicious things started to appear. There were the usual suspects – the pork and prawn dumplings (siu mai) and steamed prawn dumplings (har kau). Unlike quite a few places, each serving came with 4 individual dumplings, which is quite good when sharing. The steamed pork spare ribs in black bean (a fav of the Prince Consort) were also quite good.

Other more typical dishes which we’d tried were the deep fried squid cakes (delicious!), deep fried prawn dumplings (not too shabby either) and my personal favourite – the pan fried turnip cakes was also quite good.

For the braver souls out there (and I’m not one of them), chicken feet also graced our tables. There were two kinds – braised and the Thai style and both were heartily approved by The Man and Prince Consort. For the uninitiated, braised chicken feet is one where the feet have been deep fried and then braised in soy sauce, black beans and other good stuff (I think) and steamed whilst the Thai style is a pickled version. No braising, no frying. Great for those who like it but then again, picking out little chicken toes from my teeth isn’t my favourite feeling so I’ll leave it to those who like it. Another specialty of the day, which might not appear on the menu but its definitely there if you ask for it is cold duck’s tongue. Did you know that there’s a bone in the middle of a duck’s tongue? Well, now you know and if you’re adventurous, definitely give it a go. Personally, not for me but hey I’ve given it a go and I can definitely say I won’t be having it again.

The list of food goes on – steamed rice flour dumplings with prawns, pork and a deep fried dough dumpling (yau cha koay), steamed pork wrapped in bean curd (sin jook kin – please forgive my attempts at the phonetic presentation of the food names they’re spelt as they’re pronounced in Cantonese so I can’t guarantee their accurateness in other Chinese dialects), steamed scallop dumplings and several others. It was more than enough to satisfy the appetites of 6 hungry adults who did nothing but inhale the food presented to them. One dish stands out which deserves an honourable mention though – the salted fish and pork rice pot was excellent and it will definitely be on my list of things to order next time. The silken pork flavoured with a hint of salted fish and served over a smallbed of greens and rice was a wonderful treat. And the desserts – silken almond pudding was a great way to end the meal.

At the end of the day, each dim sum ranged from 1.90 – 2.50, which is a little cheaper than the norm. For the 6 of us the total damage was 65, hardly a dent in the wallet for the amount of food we ate. Next time you’re in Chinatown, head down to the Laureate and give yourselves a treat.

TOH

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CAMDEN MARKET GOAT CURRY

2005-07-18T10:16:00.000+01:00

Website: Camden Markets

Tube: Camden Town, Chalk Farm or Mornington Crescent
Rail: Camden Road Station or Kentish Town Station

Whenever we visit Camden Market it feels like we’ve crashed one huge street party. It nearly always has a festive, carnival highly charged atmosphere. You have your punks, gothics, pot-heads, druggies, dazed tourists and an occasional ordinarily dressed sane local. Even though it is open all week, go on the weekends and you’re more likely to see more stalls and to cop an eyeful of more intriguing people dredged up from the depths of their dungeons.

One big reason to go is for the Caribbean stall and more specifically for the delectable goat curry. One way to find it is to find the Lockside Lounge Bar (75 Camden Lock Place, NW1 8AF), go down the steps and voila, you will find a plethora of international food stalls waiting for you. French, Spanish, Chinese, Italian, Thai, Caribbean, Japanese – it’s all there.

The Caribbean stall is what we want to focus on. Huge shallow vats of bubbling curry send instant endomorphic messages to your brain. Definitely go for the goat curry. If you’re worried that the goat may be as tough as…well, a goat. Don’t be fooled. This goat has the same consistency as lamb gently simmered over many hours. For those not into hot stuff, don’t worry, as this curry ain’t hot or spicy to eat. Served with rice for a fiver it’s simply the dog’s bollocks, the cat’s pyjamas, the gnat’s nads.

HRH
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CARLUCCIO’S CAFÉ

2005-07-16T08:44:00.000+01:00

Putney Wharf, London, SW15 2JQ

Tel: 020 8789 0591
Fax: 020 8789 8360

Open: Mon-Fri 8-11, Sat 9-11, Sun 9-10.30

Website: Carluccios

Nearest Tube: Putney Bridge/ Putney BR

Average price per person: £25 for 3 courses including a glass of wine

The Other Hag summed it up for me nicely. The first time was wonderful. The second visit was utterly atrocious. The third time was to reassure ourselves that the second visit was just the cook having a lousy day – food was still woefully abysmal. The fourth time – well, we decided to give Carluccio the benefit of the doubt. Just because one branch can’t lift its game doesn’t mean other branches should be condemned into oblivion. We’d give it another whirl. The thing with restaurant/café chains, it’s hard to maintain consistency in the quality of cooking. Having said that – McDonalds and Burger King seem to be doing quite nicely, thank ya very muchly.

The entrance is very impressive with their delicatessen setting the tone for the rest of the restaurant. Chic and trendy. Traditional, authentic Italian products line the shelves irresistibly. You have pasta from Puglia, olive oil from Sicily, risotto rice from Veneto, biscotti from Tuscany. Of course Carluccio plugs his own line of cookbooks in handy paying distance – wouldn’t expect anything less, I would too. To the front you can buy fresh antipasto ingredients, meat balls, cooked chicken pieces, custard and lemon tarts.

We were seated outside as it was one of those sultry summer evenings perfect for Putney people watching. There are quite a few bars around and there were plenty of people chilling, chatting and savouring their beers. We were able to order promptly but it did take some time for our orders to arrive.

Their menu pretty much remains a constant force in all Carluccio branches. Two soups and one daily special feature at £3.95 each. The Antipasti selection is quite broad including various antipasto dishes, deep fried rice balls, grilled sardines, bruschetta, parma ham. These range from £4.25 to £9.95.

A modest range of salads are on offer – garden, calamari, pasta, mozzarella with tomatoes, tuna with cannellini beans are all mostly £6.25.

Mains cover ribeye steak, lamb steak, sword fish, lasagne, risotto, calzone and a whole range of pasta dishes – all cooked in the traditional way. Prices range from £6-£11.

Desserts along with their starter and antipasti could be there forte. Sorbets, gelato, tiramisu, torte, panna cotta, cheeses all sound delectable at £3.25 to £5.25.

A decent range of wines range from £2.85 - £5.50 for a glass and £10.95 - £23 for a bottle.

The prince consort and I had the Insalata Di Fagliolini e Calamaretti (£6.25) which was a generous sized portion of squid marinated in red wine with new potatoes, green beens and sundried tomatoes. The combination worked well together but somehow lacked any real pizzazz or oomph. I felt I wanted to add more pepper and salt to make it tastier.

The Other Hag had the fabulous Antipasto Di Verdure (£6.75) which was probably the wisest move of the whole table. It consisted of sweet roasted halved peppers filled with pesto, roasted tomatoes, olives and a refreshing green bean salad with mint. A fantastic combination. A perfect summery dish.

It all fell through for The Man. He was cozened into the same snare as I had (the last three times). Whenever I see the description Zuppa Di Punghi Con Pancetta (£3.95) – a rich soup of mushrooms with bacon I instantly dream of a large comforting bowl of silky hot soup with a medley of exotic fungi. You don’t expect to find a tepid bowl of salty, dilute soup. No siree. This was exactly how it was on this occasion. Actually on the last visit to the St Christopher’s Place branch (off Oxford St) the same soup tasted like a reckless, high on crack individual had accidentally tipped a whole bag of salt into it. It was inedible. Thinking back…I should have sent the soup back. But two years ago I wasn’t as confident (or demanding) as I am today. So the morale of this sad tale is DON’T ORDER THE SOUP. They are clueless.

The Man also ordered the Penne Giardiniera (£6.50). It looked quite unusual when it came. Interesting presentation. Spinach balls were deep-fried with parmesan and garlic. It looked like one of those tumble-weeds out of a great western flick. I half expected a Lilliputian version of Clint Eastwood to swagger out into the centre of the dish and hurl penne at us. Despite its attempts to avert our attention, the balls did indeed taste like tumble-weed and the penne was bland.

Definitely a hit and miss kind of place when it comes to eating good food. We keep on coming back again (at infrequent intervals) because the prices are very reasonable with a great atmosphere to boot. Service could be better though. This probably is like most places that hide behind the name of a celebrity chef. Ronald McDonald and his side kick Grimace are more likely to be caught flipping burger patties than Carluccio making it in especially to toss your salad.

HRH

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YUMMI YUMMI NOODLE BAR

2005-07-14T04:23:00.000+01:00

8 Station Parade
Ealing Common. W5 3LD

Website: Yummi Yummi

Phone number: 020 8992 2848

Nearest Tube: Ealing Common, Ealing Broadway BR

Average price per person: £10

With our new Tom Tom 300 GPS system we waded our way through London’s peak hour traffic in honour of our continuous holy grail search to find the perfect Pho. My degree of excitement grew as I reminded myself of one of the golden rules of a good ethnic restaurant – authenticity is normally proportional to the tackiness of the name. Guaranteed to be good. But any degree of enthusiasm was quickly doused with scepticism as soon as we walked through the door. We were greeted by a very cool, scaled-down cheap modern atmosphere. Two toned beige/white walls, red Japanese lanterns at the entrance, three lone Ikea pictures, wooden tables and plastic chairs, the obligatory cheap wooden floor boards. Tables filled with white people. Uh oh. Never a good sign.

Their menu is quite comprehensive with helpful pictures. It seems the owners can’t deicide on which cuisine to specialise in. The bulk is Vietnamese, with a dash of Japanese, Thai and Malaysian. Again an ominous sign. Jack of all trades, master of none. You can click on the website above and it will give you a good idea of what their menu is like.

Summer rolls (£2.80) appeared shortly after our drinks of iced lemon tea. OK, but didn’t quite hit the spot. The prawns were tasteless and probably came out of a frozen packet. It was hard to tell if pork slices intended to be included in the roll - it certainly was on the menu desciption. Could hardly see it.

After a longer wait, our Pho Tai came. We balked at the price. At £6.80 per bowl, it had better be damn good. As soon as I saw it, I knew it wasn’t at all the real McCoy. The beef slices on top looked like they were cooked all the way through. Which is OK I suppose, as some people like it that way, and we had not specified otherwise. The soup was quite tasty but tasted exactly like chicken broth. In addition, normally this dish comes with a large plate of fresh bean sprouts, lemon, fresh cut chilli and a bouquet of fresh mint, basil and sometimes coriander leaves. Instead, they had chosen to serve the Pho with the bean spouts already in. The plate they provided had the chilli sauce, two slices of lemon and a meagre scattering of a few basil leaves.

To complete the whole Pho dining experience, I love to dip the beef slices in a small plate of freshly cut chilli and fish sauce. I asked for this and she came with a sweet dipping sauce normally used in other Vietnamese dishes. I explained again and she came with a bottle of fish sauce and said they didn’t have fresh chilli. Holy crap. I don’t know any place proclaiming to specialise in Vietnamese food to not provide fresh chilli. She surly pointed to a bottle of minced chilli paste and shoved it in front of me. We did not feel welcomed at all.

I don’t think they have a proper meat slicing machine to cut the beef slices ultra-thin. The beef in my bowl was tough, devoid of taste and of varying thicknesses. I think what they have done is frozen the beef and tried to slice it with a normal knife thinly that way. No way to do things if you’re aiming for a perfect bowl of Pho – which wasn’t their intention at all.

(I’ll use this perfect moment to plug Chris’s Café East Pho Bo in Surry Quays. The best bowl of Pho we’ve found yet in London.)

The place when we left was absolutely packed with mainly white people. This to me immediately sums up the ethos of the place. Nowhere near to authenticity, but passable to other ethnicities who don’t know the cuisine well. This is obvious, as the ingredients they have used skimped on quality and freshness. Cutting corners all the way. A shame, as the other dishes on the menu look like they could be quite good and people seem to come in their hoards and enjoy themselves. We’ll leave them to it then. See you at Café East.

HRH

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YEON-JI

2005-07-13T11:56:00.000+01:00

106 Burlington Rd
New Malden. Surrey. KT3 4NS

Telephone: 020 8942 7184

Opening Hours: noon-10pm Mon-Sat; 5.30-10pm Sun

Nearest Rail: New Malden BR

Average price per person: £15

We walked into Yeon-Ji with no expectations. We left immensely satisfied and ready to adopt the owner as our own mother. Such is the experience at this eating establishment. Plain and simple décor with faded gold wallpaper. A few red strips of paper with Korean characters proclaiming the specials of the day. The real strength of character is in the food and its owners.

The menu is quite simple and included all you would expect of a Korean restaurant – the BBQ, hotpot, hot stone rice. On closer examination it provided more unusual items, to those unaccustomed to Korean cuisine. Lamb entrails, raw minced beef, pancakes, fish cheeks. For those with a delicate predisposition, they do offer the standard parts of various animals as well.

We left Tiger Wee to do the ordering. He does it well. The BBQ section was totally in Chinese and Korean characters. Otherwise, the rest of the menu had a crude translation of English beside it. Most dishes were £10 each, with hotpot dishes £15 each.

The restaurant seems to be owned by a husband and wife team. The husband, strangely enough, stayed behind in the kitchen and prepared the food. The wife, god bless, scuttled around from table to table acting as the only waiting staff. You might imagine a diminutive and docile Korean lady scuttling around. Nothing could be further from the truth. At first sight she looked like a Korean lumberjack or maybe one of those competitors in the World’s Most Strongest Man. Deeply tanned creased face, hair harshly pulled back, forearms of Popeye’s, rough mammoth sized hands. She was dressed in a large old blue T-shirt stained by sweat and stains. You can tell by one glance that this woman has worked hard all her life – real salt of the earth kind of woman. A woman who will always tell you how it is and how it’s gonna be. No arguments. Her English isn’t so great, the husband’s is a little better. She gets her point across with hand gestures and if necessary, she’ll grab your head and shake it – in a motherly, gentle manner. All in good fun.

First up was the oyster pancakes. Neatly lined in rectangular pieces it reminded me of a stepped ploughing field for some reason. Lightly browned on each side it looked deceivingly quite light. Even though we had ordered oyster filled pancakes, these had prawns and fish in them, with very few oysters. A nice starter considering we were all starving.

Next up was the brain tester. Why brain tester? Well, it tests whether you can mentally block out the traditional way of eating things and still enjoy your meal. So here it was. Red raw stands of minced beef with a raw egg on top, sprinkled with something like pine nuts, surrounded by fresh julienned cold vegetables. Of course, all the ingredients has to be mixed well before tucking in. A bit apprehensive, I took my first bite. It was gorgeous, cold, smooth and sweet. Each ingredient was utterly fresh.

Lamb tripe was also delicious and cold, presented in a kimchi like chilli sauce.

We ordered pork belly, beef and lamb BBQ. Each was cooked in front of us on gas fuelled sizzling plates. I wouldn’t go for the pork belly again. Not a lot of taste. The beef and pork slices however were tender and bursting full of flavour. The BBQ came with four complimentary, generous-sized side dishes of kimchi, spinach, shredded radish and turnips.

The hotpots came next. We were ready to bust. Some of us had ordered rice, but after the BBQ, quickly retracted their orders. It was alot. We had ordered one vegetable and one pork hotpot. Strangely enough, both hotpots had meat inside as well as tofu and vegetables. I guess something was lost in the translation. The stock of both pots were very different though. One was definitely better than the other – more taste and depth. Reminded me of the stock used when making those instant Korean noodles packets. An unjust comparison I know, but something like it.

We had booked a table for nine people for 7pm. We needn’t have bothered. When we arrived, only one table was occupied by two very chilled out men, drinking sake and savouring the hotpot in front of them.(Notice the good ol' Asain 'leg up'.)

By 9-9:30pm, people started coming in. By 10pm when we left, the place of packed and jumping with activity. All were Korean saved for us and another table. As you can imagine, it became harder and harder to get the waitresses attention. Which was OK…there was only one of her…and she was at max capacity.

As we bid the waitress farewell she blew us a kiss with one meaty paw. She made us promise to show her the photos we had taken. We promised faithfully. Two reasons to go back now – definitely for the food and for the warmth and friendlessness of the people. I can only sum up the experience as being something like dining in your grandma’s kitchen. Warm, authentic and reassuring.

HRH

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KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS

2005-07-12T09:36:00.000+01:00

Krispy Kreme’s website

On our way to a Korean restaurant in New Malden we stumbled across a miracle. It was like a spiritual awakening complete with a trumpeting fanfare and frolicking angels. Out of nowhere a massive Krispy Kreme complex shimmered into being. With a brutal tug of the wheel we screeched into the parking lot, complete with the smell of burning tyres. The notion of a Krispy Kreme only 10 minutes drive away from where I live was a startling and intoxicating notion to me. Woosy and with a thumping heart we drove up to their drive-thru speaker. Yes, they have a drive-thru!

A crisp, clean voice greeted us over the speaker. Tiger Wee, the man of the hour, hesitantly spoke back. “Give us a bit of time”. “Certainly” replied the cheery metal threshing that was the speaker box. What proceeded then was a heated discussion as to what we should order. We unanimously decided on the 12 doughnut box for £13.20. After a much longer period of squawking and changing our minds we settled on 3 varieties – chocolate iced custard filled, chocolate iced cream filled and powdered blueberry filled.

On the gargantuan box in which the doughnuts come in, it authoritatively informs you that it can be heated just for 8 seconds in the microwave on high power. Oh…the results are extremely gratifying. I had thick warm sweet cream oozing out of the doughnut and down my chin every time I took a bite out of it. Comforting carbs paradise.

It may or may not be surprising to you – but we revisited the Gates of Heaven once again – within 24 hours of the first visit. This time we went inside and ooohed and arrrhed at the vast array of doughnuts they had on display. Original or chocolate glazed; powdered; granulated sugar coated. Cream, custard, apple and cinnamon, blueberry, strawberry, raspberry, dulce de leche cream fillings. Hole or no hole.

They also serve the perfect accompaniment. Coffee, frozen blends and flavoured milk. Yes your teeth will no doubt NOT thank you 5 years down the track. But what the hey?

It certainly is a relief and a weight off the shoulders to finally discover a Krispy Kreme near to where we live. Previously the only one I was aware of was the one in Harrod’s food basement. It’s ridiculous. People line up for at least half an hour on the pavement outside just to get their fat fingers into some luscious, sticky, finger-lickin’ doughnuts. My American friend Aric came over and he couldn’t believe such a trashy place was in, none the less, idolised in a place like Harrods.

Yes I am ashamed to revere the fat flag-ship of America. Surely what’s good for Americans is not good for us. But damn it, it sure tastes good! There are now 8 Krispy Kreme outlets around London. As we roly-poly down to work taking extra care not to chafe our thighs, we can hold our double-chins high and be secure in the knowledge…(pause)…actually there are no comforting thoughts of wisdom. Damit…why does it have to be so close to where we live? The Man will understand this – now the Pandora’s deep-fat fryer’s seal has been broken.

HRH
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Cafe East Photos

2005-07-10T14:34:00.000+01:00

Three months after writing a review of this kick arse Vietnamese restaurant in the depths of south-east London - we have finally posted the pictures. If only they were closer....sigh...I guess you would have morbidly obese culinary hags...

Is this cafe the best pho that can be found in London? So far it is...

Check it out...Cafe East

HRH

FRIENDS

2005-07-09T11:18:00.000+01:00

Oriental Food Hall
4 Chelverton Rd. Putney. SW15 1RH

Nearest Tube: Putney East/ Putney BR

Average price per person: less than a tenner

Opening Hours: Mon to Fri 12 noon to 15:00, 17:30 to 23:00
Sat and Sun 12 noon to 23:00

Wagamama concept places are springing up everywhere. Soon after one has established its turf and proclaimed superiority, another one flashes into existence. One could suffer from whiplash from all the rapid activity.

Friends. The corny sounding, cutsy-mitzy name reminds me of little school girls with pigtails gaily skipping with their ‘Hello Kitty’ lunchboxes. Don’t ask me why. Just does. Either that, or I’m just really bitter.

Friends strives and strains to be just like Wagamama. To sip the sweet nectar of success and to tap into that multi-million pound gold-pile that Alan Yau (founder) is proudly preening himself on. Unfortunately it fails on multiple levels and instead is ‘just another one of those noodle bars’.

It has the canteen tables and long chairs concept happening there. Waiting staff are polite, efficient and courteous. The kitchen, however, is not an open-planned concept. Maybe this is where luck has gone so disastrously wrong. Maybe if they opened their kitchen to criticism, the food would be better. Who knows? Also (not to pick) the ambience is much duller and subdued. It needs a few ultra modern, ultra sleek touches here and there.

Onto the food. Actually it’s not quite bad. Not quite great. But I’ll be back here again. Not on a regular basis, mind you. But in a “we’re close and can’t be arsed walking further” kinda situation. Which means it’s not all tits up for this establishment.

The Chilli Beef Ramen (£6.90) is EXACTLY what Wagamama serves up. Not meaning to compare, but not resisting either – I ordered it - for a challenge and a hoot. The large bowl was practically obscured from the Eden Project currently in cultivation there. Their sirloin steak was OK, not as tender as in the big W – but still wolfable. The soup was pretty good (OK I’m gonna sound like a mimic) but didn’t have the same punch to it as the big wig W. (I think the proprietors of Friends are gonna punch me any sec). All in all, after all that critique – a solid bowl of noodles with good proportions of meat to noodles to veges. I will certainly have it again.

The Other Hag had the anti-nemesis of my dish – the Chilli Chicken Ramen (£5.50) served with the forestry of seasonal greens, wakame, menma and spring onions. She slurped it up with gusto and proclaimed it to be a hearty, tasty bowl of dosh. No complaints there.

The Man ordered the Nasi Goreng which arrived in this humungous plate piled up to the nines. (The photos don’t really give the size justice). True to its form, a fried egg laid on its back spread-eagled. Hey, it even comes with a complimentary bowl of soup! He devoured it with flecks of grain flying in all directions, again with no complaints. Apparently an expert on the nasi goring sub-species – he declared it “pretty good”.

So there you go culinary deviants. I started out this review with a negative slant, but after walking with baby step precision through the meal - this joint ain't that half bad. I surprise myself sometimes. Fast efficient service, large portions, reasonable prices – definitely good value for money. So whaddya waiting for? For Wagamama to lower its prices? Not bloody likely.
HRH

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HAN KANG

2005-07-07T11:20:00.000+01:00

16 Hanway St. W1T 1UE

Telephone: 020 7637 1985

Nearest Tube: Totterham Court Road

Average price per person (lunch): £9 (for one lunch special and drink)

The number of good Korean restaurants we know can probably counted on the digits of a three-toed sloth with a birth defect. That’s right folks – only one. That’s appalling and will have to be remedied immediately. Via the grape-vine I’ve recently learnt that there’s a thriving Korean community of maybe 20, 000 in New Maldon – near Wimbledon way. It started off with one restaurant, called Asadal (still running strong with a mainly Korean clientele) and various others – Yeon-Ji, You-Me, Jees. We will visit them all, maybe try our hand at a little karaoke and report back pronto.

Onto the one Korean restaurant we do know and have frequented there several times – Han Kang. Set in an alley-way you might well be transported back into a Blade Runner movie set. Pretty dodge. Inside it is lovely however. The way you would expect a respectable traditional Korean restaurant to look.

They have a pretty reasonable special lunch menu ranging about 10 dishes for about £6.50 each. Go for this and avoid the dinner if you’re feeling thrifty. Been for dinner a few times and it’s always more enjoyable when you’re paying less and go for the full hog. Don’t know why Japanese and Korean places are so expensive for dinner – maybe we’re just looking at the wrong areas.

The meal was accompanied by a bowl of kimchee and marinated potatoes. I’m not an expert on kimchee – I have had hotter, but it was tasty nevertheless.

We tried two plates of their BBQ. They give you the option of stinking your clothes and hair out and barbequing at your table, or cooking it in their kitchen. But what’s the fun in that? We tried the bulgogi or marinated beef slices and deaji bulgogi (pork slices). While she was sizzling the meat away on the hot grill, the smells wetted our appetite and teased our senses. A whole plate of raw meat can seem like a lot, but in actual fact, it shrivels away to a few mouthfuls. A bit pricey for £8 per meat, but the taste and texture is exquisitely of the melt-in-your-mouth variety.

I always go for the Bi Bim Bap. A well known dish which is a hot stone pot into which is encased rice, a variety of vegetables (shredded carrots, zucchini, spinach, bean sprouts) topped off with strips of marinated beef and an egg (sunny side up). It is served with a sweet red soybean paste which really makes a difference to the flavours. You have to mix every thing well before you eat so that the runny egg coats all the ingredients making it a truly rich hearty meal – ideal for blistery winters. They also serve a complimentary bowl of miso soup with this. The Man had a similar version to this but with raw beef.

The rest of the table had various dishes of the lunch specials. All looked very different and appealing, but alas, I can not remember for the life of me the nuances of every flavour or their Korean names. I will leave the pictures for your perusal.

A brilliant place to munch for lunch, good value especially if you don’t stray away from the cheap lunch menu. Waiting staff are fast, efficient and polite making the dining experience all the more enjoyable. A nice hidey-hole away from the hustle and bustle of the electronic stretch of Totterham Court road.

HRH

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JIM THOMPSON’S THAI RESTAURANT/BAR

2005-07-04T10:55:00.000+01:00

SELAMAT TINGGAL HAG

2005-06-17T21:50:00.000+01:00

We bid adieu to The Other Hag who has left London with a queasy stomach and a heavy head after a eventful night at The Player in Soho. She will journey onward to Penang, Malaysia - her home town...the loins of which she was brought forth into this unsuspecting world. She will revel in the sensuous muggy heat, awe at the spectacular sunsets, and of course...gorge herself senseless over the smorgasboard Penang has to offer. We wait with abated breath....

HRH

OMAN

2005-06-17T21:29:00.000+01:00

The prince consort’s criteria were hot, relaxing, luxurious – money not an issue. I don’t know how I happened upon Oman. To my embarrassment I had to look it up on the map. I vaguely knew it was somewhere in the Middle East, but that was about it. When I told people at work where we planned to take the week off, we were met with blank stares of puzzlement. Basically I wanted somewhere with guaranteed hot weather with zero probability of rain, less than 10 hours by flight from London and a luxurious resort. Surprisingly this is hard to find in the month of May, with only one week to book the holiday. Yes, it was very last minute.

We travelled with Gulf Air to Muscat, the capital of Oman. I have to admit I am very impressed with Gulf Air and its service. First I looked up on the web to make sure it had an impeccable terrorist free flight history. The plane was medium sized complete with personal entertainment screens. Always a welcomed addition. The air stewardesses were smiley, accommodating and easy on the eye. Another welcome change from the grumpy post-menopausal airline attendants on Qantas or British Airways. Attitude major.

I definitely recommend to dig a little deeper and pay the extra £40 or so to get a direct flight. If not, an eight hour flight can be turned into a 14 hour nightmare. Food wasn’t crash hot, but I have had worse. We were surrounded by heaps of Indian and Pakastani people. This was great, as this meant all the free English magazines they provided were plentiful and up for grabs.

We landed into Muscat and it was exactly how I expected. A small arse airport in the middle of nowhere. We got off the plane and expected a rush to get past passport control. To our amazement, the whole plane full of people rushed off in another direction to catch connecting flights. Abruptly we were alone. We hesitantly approached the Travelex desk to buy our visas. Most countries can purchase their visas on arrival (just check with your embassy) for just $US12, rather than going through the hassle of journeying to the Oman embassy in your own country. Travelex also gives you the great option of exchanging all the Omani Riyal you didn’t use after your holiday, for exactly the same exchange rate you bought it at, free of charge. A word of caution – the Sterling is weaker than the Omani Riyal. Yes, we were horrified too.

Oh, and if you’re a fan of alcohol – buy it at Heathrow. If you forget, you can get it at higher than normal prices at the limited selection at Muscat airport. As you would expect, alcohol is quite pricey in Oman with mainly only hotels serving it. We bought two bottles of Jacobs Creek at Muscat airport for about £4 each. We should have bought a slab of Fosters’ beer now thinking back. We immediately regretted not doing so after looking at the hotel’s minibar prices. £4 for a small can of beer.

We proceeded to passport control. Good thing there wasn’t a huge queue. As I said before, there was just us. They must have taken a good ten minutes to process our passports after a lot of muttering and debating. We were ushered to the conveyer belt to collect our baggage. Panic started to seep in when we saw that none of the conveyor belts appeared to be working. No bags were in sight. It was like a ghost airport. Had we taken so long after disembarking that they had presumed we weren’t going to collect and decided to pillage the goods and divide it amongst themselves? Prince consort spotted our lonely bag in one corner of the airport. A group of men in security clothing sat in one corner and especially turned on the X-ray conveyor belt for us to use. We felt extremely special.

We were greeted by a private car and whisked away to the hotel. As expected the surrounding environment was very dry and isolated. As we approached the city, huge impressive white-washed houses with turrets and arches loomed into view. It reminded me of the set of Star Wars where Luke Skywalker grew up. Very romantic and impressive. Within 10 minutes were had arrived. The Chedi , the hotel we were staying at doesn’t look impressive on the outside, like most Muslim buildings. Calm and serene on the outside, but hidden beauty within. Check out the website– it’s breathtaking.

We stayed five nights in total – all we could afford really. Upgrade to the Deluxe rooms – it’s well worth it considering the increase in space. The rooms are tastefully decorated with the right balance between modern and traditional. My only qualm is the absence of a bath. The shower is heavenly however. One of those rainforest walk-in showers which seems to be in the vogue nowadays. Trendy bathrobe and slippers are provided. The slippers are the most wonderful! Heavily cushioned and luxurious – feels like you’re constantly walking on thick fluffy carpet! Extravagence for the feet. Complimentary bottled water and a fruit bowl (bananas, lychees, rambutans) are filled everyday. Service is excellent. Ask for something and it’ll appear minutes later. Rooms are serviced twice a day, so you’ll never have to suffer the indignity of using a bath towel twice. (Well at least for the duration of your stay here). The bed is king-sized with the highest quality smooth white sheets. Making each night an absolute bliss to slumber into the huge downy soft pillows.

The actual property on which this hotel is sited it quite small. They have two beautiful pools. One is called the Infinity Pool (for adults only) and the only one we swam in. This pool is gorgeous, not only to look at but also to swim in. It’s huge – about 50 metres in length, overlooking the beach and ocean. Large lounge areas are provided in the shade for people who make it to the poolside early. Otherwise they have a limited supply of sun loungers scattered around the pool, garden and beach. Large palm trees everywhere shield you from the sun if you so wish. Forget about snorkelling in the ocean for tropical fish and coral. Nada. But the water is astonishingly hot though – like a hot bath – maybe a little too hot for marine life.

The resort was full of couples mainly of European origin – obviously of some money. A few Americans. The favourite book it seemed was Dan Brown’s ‘Da Vini Code’ – nearly every second person was reading it – including myself. A definite recommended read, although on hindsight, it is hard to separate truth from ficton.

The Chedi Pool is for those families with children. Their famous restaurant overlooks this stunning pool. I wouldn’t recommend this resort for children or for those wanting an active holiday. A holiday here is designed for mulling, sunbaking, reading, eating and escaping from reality. There isn’t much else to do here. A few over-eager zealous types we spotted using the modern air-conditioned gym. Our initial plan was to use this facility – but after a few hours lazing in the sun, nothing could be furtherest from out mind.

Breakfast is of the usual high standard you would expect. A whole smorgasboard of the usual American breakfast suspects. Cold cuts of meat, cheese and fresh bread are available for the European inclined. Tropical fruits, yoghurt and musli for the health conscious. You can ask for a freshly made omelette or pancakes if you are so inclined. You can lounge back and take your time with a freshly brewed pot of coffee and an english Omani paper.

It is possible to see all of Muscat’s sights in one day. We hired a honest taxi driver for three hours and only paid 23 Riyal. He even talked about the sights as we drove by, with an excellent fluency in English. Everywhere you go, you will see large portraits of their sultan, Qaboos Bin Said. A great man it seems who has done much to put Oman on the map. He actually overthrew his father in 1970 in a bloodless coup and ruled Oman which much more liberal and expansionist policies. His mark is everywhere. Free schooling, everyone is fluent in English, traditional buildings have been renovated to excellent condition, heathcare revamped. He allowed citizens to wear sunglasses again, once banned by his father.

The Omani people are extremely friendly here and don’t pester tourists much in the city. They are very polite and we only had one run in – with a dishonest taxi driver (is there ever any other kind?) They also constantly surprised us with their fluency in English and their readiness to smile.

We visited the fish souq which was a very small open aired market with white archways. The place, as expected reeked off fish and saltiness of the sea. Men crouched on the floor beside their wares caught that very morning.

Nearby they were selling live chickens and beheading them in front of you (grinning at tourists insanely too whilst at it).

We visited one of the main souks (Muttrah Souk), which we didn’t spend much time at. I was quite disappointed. I thought it would be dirty, dusty and full of atmosphere. Somewhere Indiana Jones would be forced to flee into chase by adversaries. Instead we were greeted with sterile clean alleyways lined with shops all selling the same thing – jewellery or clothes.

We visited the Mirani Fort. You can’t go inside and government business is conducted inside, but it’s nice to spend a while taking pictures from the sea coast. We went on the drive by their main Mosque. We couldn’t go in as it was prayer time, but an impressive view from the outside nevertheless.

We did visit some of their main shopping centres. Mostly three storied buildings all containing similar things. They certainly like their electronics and jewellery. Every shop window was filled with the latest digital cameras, plasma screens and PDAs.

There wasn’t much in the way of clothing shops as most men wear the traditional brilliant white dishdashes and kummas (peakless caps). Women’s attire distinctively comprises a set of four clothings including the thawb or dishdasha, sirwaal pantaloons, waqaya (scarf) and al-leisu.

Food in Muscat isn’t much to talk about I’m afraid. We ate once outside the hotel in a new restaurant called Beirut. They were extremely imaginative in their non-alcoholic cocktails – and very tasty as well. The food comprised of lots of hummous, pitta bread, grilled meats and the like. Nothing out of the ordinary or that we haven’t tasted before.

We dined at The Chedi’s main dining area which we had to book ahead, as every night is always booked out. The restaurant comprises of 4 kitchens all in open view in glass cubicles – a novel concept. The menu is divided into the what the four kitchens represent – Asian, Mediterranean, Indian and Arabic. The food was tasty and well presented – although it didn’t surprise us with innovative and imaginative textures and flavours. It reminded us how fantastic it is to live in London and to have such a tremendous variety of cuisines available to us.

Five days was plenty and we achieved what we had come for. An all-over tan, pampering and relaxation. We had gone in the hottest month of May but it hardly bothered us as the winds from the costal areas kept the air cooler than it really was. Having said that, temperatures were still in the mid-30s – and very humid. We thoroughly recommend a break here. Probably wouldn’t spend more than a week here though. It’s also recommended to avoid it during the month of Ramadan as the whole country practically closes down and it’s illegal to consume alcohol at any time – even in major hotels. Think of visiting Oman if you’re looking for luxury resorts, guaranteed hot weather, hospitable locals and away from the usual tourist trail.

HRH

MAZZA RESTAURANT

2005-06-13T22:06:00.000+01:00

5 Putney Hill
Putney. SW15 6BA

Website: Mazza

Nearest Tube: East Putney/ Putney BR

Average price per person: £20 (Entrees, mains, dessert and a drink)

We had been eagerly anticipating the opening of this restaurant for weeks. “Indian Canteen Dining” the opening banner proudly proclaimed. So when it finally opened, we rushed in after a week. We abide by the rule – always try to support your friendly local restaurants. If the food rocks – even better. The exterior is ultra modern with large windows and modern bright orange signs. Seating is canteen style with wooden benches and long tables. Funky blue lighting inlaid into the ceiling reminds you that you’re not just at your average “curry in a hurry after a massive booze-up” joint.

The one thing that hit me upon entering was the brightness of the place. Down spot halogen lighting. Too harsh I thought and it kinda made me feel uncomfortable. Anyone who knows me, knows I like to blend in with my surroundings. Blend in. Anonymity. This place makes you feel like you’ve just stumbled into a football field with floodlights – naked. All blemishes and imperfections revealed in their full glory.

Squinting from the glare, we were seated by friendly staff and perused the menu. A sparse collection of art work adorned the white walls. The place was three-quarters packed for a weekday night. Full of young professionals and the like. Starters ranged from £3.50 to £7.95. Mains covered vegetarian, chicken, lamb, prawns and fish and ranged from £7.50 to £12.95. Desserts are all £2.95.

All alcohol on the menu was reasonably priced and a portion is donated to the Save the Children fund and NSPCC. Very noble and worthwhile causes. The Other Hag and The Man opted for a mango lassi (£2.75) and lime juice (£1.95) in vain desperation to appear to prepare for their 10km run in the following three weeks. The prince consort and I opted for a reasonable tasting house red (£2.00). We couldn’t believe how cheap it was.

The main courses came after a brief wait. Portions are reasonable. Not stingy and miniscule, but certainly not generous. We ordered one dish per person to share and should have ordered more.

The Mixed Tandoori platter (£10.95) was decidedly average with the run of the mill charred blackened lamb, chicken and prawns. All were on the verge of dryness, not at all juicy.

The Machli Masala (£7.95) was my favourite. A medium sized portion of chunky fresh cod bathing in their own tomato based curry sauce.

Saag (£3.95), a small portion of spinach cooked with garlic and herbs was average.

Gosht Jalfrezi (£7.95) wasn’t awful but certainly was disappointing. We all thought the lamb was a little over-cooked and stingy in the meat proportions.

Baigan Bharta (£4.50) was an eggplant dish. Tasty and freshly made.

(Hehehe…after reviewing all the pictures, all the dishes are garnished with a bright red cherry tomato. Kinda like “find the clown cleverly hidden in the curry”. Or an Indian version of Where’s Waldo?)

We all decided that the meal was quite OK and that it would be worthwhile to come back again and check out the other dishes. The restaurant had the freshness of the food going for them and the effort to make the individual curries taste different. The other big pro was that they didn’t drench their food in ghee. And don’t forget that drinks are pretty cheap for a restaurant. Imagine our shock when the bill came. £10 for basmatic rice between 4 people. The servings of rice weren’t even filling. We could have all easily eaten more. I nimbly calculated in my head. For £12 you can buy 20kg of American short-grain rice at an Asian/Oriental supermarket and feed a small village in favour of birth control. Easily. Shame on them. Appearing to be all charitable and pure by donating their alcoholic proceeds to charities. They should donate the ludicrous profits they make on the rice instead. The cheek of them. They should bow their heads in shame. We all know how much rice should really cost. If you’re going to charge that much, at least make it free flow.

With a humph we left the place vowing never to return. Maybe we will if they lower their rice charges. Or make it BYO - for rice, that is. For us, rice is a basic need, like water. Shouldn’t be exploited but provided freely. We paid £54 in all for 3 mains, 2 sides and 4 drinks. Should have been cheaper – if it weren’t for the rice.

HRH

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KAZBAR

2005-06-07T08:46:00.000+01:00

24 Putney High Street
London SW15 1SL
Tel: 020 8780 0929

Nearest Tube: Putney Bridge

Average price per person: £25 for 2 courses including a glass of wine

It was after a lazy Sunday afternoon of drinks with good friends and good conversation when a quiet meal was called for to wind down. Walking along Putney high street, which is lined with numerous pubs, restaurants and cafes, we had the difficult task to decide where and what we were going to line our bellies with. Finally, we settled upon Kazbar – a small hidey hole of a restaurant towards Putney Bridge. For the after pub hours, it offers the pre-requisite kebabs and for the more discerning customers, it also offers a limited tasting menu on Moroccan/North African cuisine as well as a selection of delicious shishas. Highlights of the night was the shisha, with average fare offered in the most uncomfortable table/chair combinations ever.

At around 7pm on a Sunday evening, this restaurant was very much empty, save for only one other table. This long and narrow restaurant was decorated very much in the style expected of a Moroccan restaurant – low dark wood tables and dark chairs lined with richly coloured cushions. Some of the low tables in the restaurant came with cushions on the floor and all around whilst other low tables (like the one we were seated) had chairs which were the same height as the tables. A little uncomfortable, yes. We were a party of 5 and we were shown to a table of 4 and when we asked whether we could add a small side table to the end to accommodate the 5, we were politely told no. Strange for an empty restaurant but perhaps we caught the waiter in a bad mood. After 5 of us squashed in the smaller table, we were given a one page menu listing what they offered. Also, there were no wine list available – they only offered house wines and for any other drinks available, your guess is as good as mine.

For starters, Kazbar offers about 5 starters, ranging from a soup of the day, hummus and Kazbar platter (which includes differed grilled meats and kebabs). These are all priced from around £3 to £6. For the mains, you could choose from a selection of 4 couscous specials or 4 tangine specials. The couscous specials selections consisted of a lamb, chicken, vegetarian or a Royal, which consists of all a variety of meats and vegetables and served on a bed of couscous. The tangine specials selection was very similar to the couscous specials except that it was a meat mains and one had to order couscous or vegetables on the side. These mains ranged from £9 to 12 but no where one the menu did it list what the price of the sides were.

After we had placed our order (sans starters as we were all a little bloated/full), our waiter came with a complimentary plate of dips and warm pitta bread, which was a surprise. Its always nice to get something for free and even better when its good. The plate of dips consisted of hummus, a spicy eggplant/roast peppers type dip (absolutely delicious) as wells as a few olives and other goodies which we couldn’t name. (Apologies for the blurry picture – I blame the late night session before hand with the Man and the Bottomless Pit!)

With a bottle of house red and our other drinks arriving, we trying to get comfortable and enjoy the freebies was a little difficult. I’m by no means a tall person – in fact, you could say that I’m shorter than the average so I can only imagine how much more uncomfortable for other taller patrons the seating must be. Her Royal Hagness, myself and the Bottomless pit (all around the same height) had to almost bend double to hover over our plates. Not very graceful and even more difficult after a few beers. But we persevered, as always, living in hope of things to come.

Our mains arrived without too much delay and it didn’t look too bad. The Man had gone for the Couscous Royal (basically the couscous special with everything) and it arrived looked quite delicious. The grilled lamb chop, sausage and chicken lay enticing over a bed of couscous and vegetables. However, that’s probably the best it could do – lay there and look good. Taste wise, it was just average. The lamb and chicken was a little bland, although the sausage kebab was quite tasty. Although the portion looks quite large it was mainly made up of a large serving of very bland and overcooked vegetables and couscous.

The popular choice of the night was the lamb tangine with most people opting for this. This slow cooked lamb with vegetables was okay – nothing to write home about but decidedly average. I spied Her Royal Hagness being quite heavy handed with the salt and pepper during the course of the meal – not a good sign.

And finally, I had the Couscous de Fez – a chicken type stew with couscous and again, quite bland and required quite a bit of seasoning on my part. Quite filling with the couscous but really, I’m not sure if I would pay £9 for this again.

Overall, the meal itself was quite disappointing but we decided to indulge in some shisha, as we had the Bottomless Pit was a shisha virgin. Shisha is tobacco mixed with molasses and fruit flavors and is smoked in a hookah. The hookah is this very “I-dream-of-Jeanie”eque looking contraption which draws the smoke from tobacco/molasses mixture through water and is very light and flavourful with a wonderful fruity aroma. It is smoked for the flavor and not for any kind of effect. Though the most popular flavour is apple (which we’d already tried in Sugar Hut), we decided to try grape. For £8, it was quite well priced and very enjoyable.

Kazbar is quite a small locally run North African restaurant (well, that we know of) and it’s a pity that the food isn’t quite up to scratch. Aziz in Fulham is recommended if you’re in the Putney/Fulham area for similar cuisine but better quality food. But definitely come down to Kazbar and enjoy a shisha, a few drinks and whittle a few hours away with some good mates.

TOH

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TICS TACS - Italian's tac-tic?

2005-06-04T00:10:00.001+01:00

The Bottomless Pit (aka The Gentle One No Longer) has unleashed this very astounding fact from the depths of her cerebral genius. Turin in Italy is the home of Tic Tacs and Nutella!?!?! No way!!! Nutella I understand. Everyone knows it practically revolutionalised the way we approach bread (Vegemite purely paved the way). But Tic Tacs?? I always thought it was some trashy Yankie invention - what with all those corny commercials promising to make one more attractive, desirable, intelligent, agile and nimble. Whatever will Bottomless Pit come up with next??? We wait with abated (minty fresh) breath...

HRH

ROYAL CHINA

2005-06-02T23:21:00.000+01:00

3 Chelverton Road
Putney. SW15 1RN

Phone number: 020 8780 1520

Nearest Tube: East Putney (or Putney BR)

Opening Hours: Mon to Sat 12pm -3:30pm
6:30pm – 11pm
Sunday 11am-4pm
6:30pm – 11pm

Average price per person (for dim sum only): £10 (including Chinese tea)

Royal China is like the Starbucks’ of Chinese restaurants. Sprawled out in strategic positions around London. Their first restaurant was actually in Queensway, Bayswater – a place which is bloody hard to get a table for dim sum on the weekends. All branches do not accept bookings for dim sum. Everyone just have to wait their turn – so be sure to turn up as soon as the doors open – cos that’s what everyone does.

We like the Putney branch as it’s close to where we live, isn’t as crowded as the more popular branches in Bayswater and Baker Street yet still maintaining the high standard in dim sum dining. The décor is very formal and luxurious. Attractive lighting, mahogany interior, Chinese murals. White table cloths and proper gold dragon chopstick prop-uperers (don’t know their proper name) complete the look. As a rule of thumb go early for yum cha. A small line does form at around 12:30pm requiring a half-hour wait if you require a large table. Although if it’s raining, take your time…Putney people are less likely to venture out…lazy I guess.

They have all the usual suspects here in terms of dim sum. I used to think that it was pretty damn good until I ate at Phoenix Palace. It still is good but I think value for money, Phoenix Palace still wins hands down. At Royal China, most of the dim sum comes in lots of three – always annoying as most people dine in even numbers. It’s their evil knievel way of getting you to order two portions instead of one.

Their dim sum menu is very extensive and certainly contains more items than Phoenix Palace. A word of warning. As soon as you order they’ll try to recommend ‘specials’ of the day. This can range from steamed scallops, tiger prawns with whiskers or yam balls with tiger prawns. Yes, yes – all are very delicious, but when the bill lands you find yourself cursing your gluttonous oversight. What could be a reasonable £10 per head explodes disastrously into £18 per person, just because of two specials ordered. Be wary and firm.

I’ll just briefly give a run-down on some of the dishes they have.

Char sui bao (£1.80) – my fav and one of the best. Probably the first thing I blurt out when ordering. Some might think that that’s because it’s the only Cantonese words I know. They may be right, but I know what I like. Small but the dough is so light and delicious.

Pan-fried turnip paste cakes (£1.80)

Deep fried chilli and salt calamari

Har gao (£2.20) – generously sized prawns, but note the number.

Siu mai mixed with prawns (£2.20) – lovely to devour, but again, note the sacred number three can not be breached.

Spare ribs in black bean sauce (£1.80) – tasty and well marinated

Spicy chicken claws in black bean sauce (£1.80)

Roast pork cheong fun (£2.30) – I prefer prawns instead.

Glutinous rice in lotus leaf (£3.00)

Baked egg tarts (£1.80) – note that in the pic we had six in total. No, the restaurant didn’t lapse in their counting skills – we just ordered two portions. Light flakey pastry with perfect custard in the middle, not too sweet at all. A perfect way to end the meal.

Overall quite a high standard, but if they can just get over their obsession with ‘threes’ it would be better. Service is quick, efficient and friendly. The manager is the short-haired lady in the suit and tie. Avoid dining here for dinner though. I’ve done so maybe three times and it has always been disappointing. Not horrendous. But I would expect better things from the Royal China chain. Oh yeah…twice I’ve spotted the great Aussie tennis player Pat Cash here with his family. Good enough for Pat…certainly good enough for the Hags.

HRH

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ADDIE’S THAI CAFÉ

2005-06-01T22:02:00.000+01:00

12 Earls Court Rd
London. SW5 9RL

Telephone: 020 7259 2620/ 020 7244 0132

Opening Hours: Mon to Fri 12:00 – 15:00, 18:00 – 23:00
Sat 18:00 – 23:00
Sun 18:00 – 23:30

Nearest Tube: Earls Court

Average price per person: £15 including alcoholic drinks

Forget Blue Elephant, Thai on the River and Busaba Eathai. For authentic Thai cooking at reasonable prices, we’ll like to name Addie’s best Thai in London. Great authentic cooking at very reasonable prices. On Friday nights downstairs hoards of Thai teenagers crowd around the entrance, swarming into the karaoke/club downstairs. Not my kinda music. Been down there once on a quiet night. Quite a small area with lounges and a few small TVs showing Thai music video clips with bouncing balls highlighting the lyrics. Yup. If that’s not your scene either, go for the food upstairs. Once again we have to attribute this place to Tiger Wee – for opening our eyes to bigger and better things. We’ve been there countless times and the service is always spot on and very accommodating.

On this particular night with the sound of Darth Vader and light savers still humming in our ears and numbing our senses, all eleven of us descended on this modest restaurant. We had booked ahead and were seated with no problems. Basic interior with a small bar at the front. Nothing to shout about or dress up to the nines for – but the food works.

TW ordered for the whole table and ordered three lots of the tried and tested favs. After ordering, ten minutes later (or maybe less) the food landed to a hungry hoard.

Kaeng Phed Ped Yang (£6.25) is a gorgeous dish of tender slices of roasted duck lavishing in a bath of red curry paste, coconut milk, Thai herbs and sweet basil leaves. Always a favourite.

My all-time favourite dish is the Goong Chair Nam Pla (£7.95). Not for the light-hearted or those suffering from gastric ulcers. Raw prawns are attractively arranged in a pagan circle totally covered in fresh chilli, minced garlic, lemon juice and fish sauce. I worship this dish. A brilliant example of raw simple ingredients blending together in gorgeous harmony. Raw prawns are surprisingly of sweet flesh. This dish must be eaten with plain rice to fully appreciate it – otherwise it’ll cinder your tastebuds senseless. Whether you want it or not the flood-gates of your sweat glands will open and gush uncontrollably. Yes, it’s that hot. As Yoda would say, order it you must.

Kho Moo Yang (£7.25) is always a hit. Glistening succulent neck of pork grilled to perfection. It comes with a sweet dipping sauce.

Pad Pak Boong (£4.95) is a hot and spicy vegetable dish. Don’t know whether you’ve heard of this vegetable but it’s called morning glory or water spinach. It has its own unique taste which I find difficult to describe…not at all like traditional English spinach. Addie’s fry it with garlic and chilli. Perfect.

Pla Jaramed Rad Prik (£7.95) is deep-fried pomfret coated in a chilli-based sauce. So crispy you can eat the whole fish including head without having to unattractively spit out an odd bone. Always a bonus if you’re on a date to impress.

There are other tried and tested dishes which we recommend that we didn’t have on that night. Tom Yam soup (£3.35) with prawns or chicken. Kaeng Kiew Wan (£5.55) where you can have either beef/chicken/prawns in green curry paste, coconut milk, Thai herbs and sweet basil leaves. Kaeng Panang (£5.55) which is exactly the same but with red curry paste. The imaginatively and poetically named Weeping Tiger (£8.75) is a huge sizzling plate of steak – Thai style. Yam Pla Meuk (£7.50) is a spicy tender squid salad with fresh Thai herbs. I could go on and on. You get the picture. They’re good and have a whole lot of things we still haven’t tried.

Thai food is always great to wash down with Singha beer – easy drinking and light, a perfect accompaniment to a spicy meal. Also try the ice cold Thai tea or coffee – made I think with carnation milk.

The best valued Thai food in London we think. Easy going atmosphere and fast friendly efficient service. They never skimp on the freshness of their ingredients or serve you stingy portions. You don’t even need to be a fan of Thai karaoke music to appreciate this. Good enough for Thai people, good enough for us.

HRH

Hump Day News

2005-06-01T13:17:00.000+01:00

Yes, the Culinary Hags are still alive and kicking but on a temporary hiatus - still recovering from long weekend breaks (plenty of upcoming material - watch this space!) and daily life.

Be back soon.

TOH

C&R Restaurant

2005-05-25T20:40:00.000+01:00

52 Westbourne Grove
London W2 5SH
Tel: 020 7221 7979

Opening Times: 11.30 am – 11 pm (Sun – Thurs)
11.30 am – 11.30 pm (Fri – Sat)

Nearest Tube: Paddington

Average price per person: £8-15 (including Chinese tea)

On this website, we’ve ranted and raved about this Malaysian café restaurant. Its got a good reputation for the Wat Tan Ho (fried rice noodles in a fantastic creamy egg sauce) and also other Malaysian dishes. This is the place where one finds the South East Asian folk have gathered on the weekend to satisfy their cravings for home style food. Anyways, it was with much joy when we found that C&R was opening another branch in Bayswater. Alas, the joy was very short lived – read on for the MOST disappointing meal since we’ve started the website. Yes, you read it right this place completely SUCKED and I can’t put it any simpler. I was deliberating whether to be a little kinder but memories of the experience have left me bitter and twisted.

One fine Sunday, when London was blessed with exceptional weather The Man and myself decided to soak up the sun in Hyde Park. As one would expect, spending a whole day lying in the sun and doing nothing is very tiring work so at the end of the day, we went in search of a quick and cheap meal. We met up with Diarrhoea Dent and the lovely Auds for dinner, originally at Four Seasons (famous world wide for its roast duck and if we ever get a table, we’ll get a review up!). However, the queue for the Four Seasons was longer than the line for the ladies at a Justin Timberlake concert so alternatives had to be found. C&R Café Restaurant was just a hop and skip away so that’s how we ended up there. The menu on the window pronounced that this place was slightly dearer than its sister restaurant in Rupert Street (they’ve dropped the “café” and is calling itself the C&R Restaurant) but hey, if we knew what it was about and what to expect. This new addition to the Bayswater restaurant scene was a lot nicer than its flagship café restaurant – pristine white starched table cloths and napkins, a maitre d’ in a suit no less (and whom we’d recognised from the Rupert Street branch) and similarly dressed wait staff. The whole place was striving for a more refined feel and higher end restaurant.

The menus provided had less of the traditional Malaysian fare, that is individual meals for one that one would have found in Soho, and catered for more of a traditional Chinese restaurant crowd offering a lot more dishes to be shared. For starters, we shared a Roti Chanai – traditional Malaysian/Indian flat bread served with curry sauce for dipping. The bread was warm and quite tasty and the accompanying curry sauce was fantastic. It was a good start and we felt a little sorry that we’d only ordered one portion. We were even sorrier after our main meals came as that was the highlight of the meal.

All the portions in this restaurant seemed to have shrunk, yet the prices were a little higher (probably around 50p or so) per dish. Good, if you weren’t a big eater but bad if you were expecting more. The Penang Fried Kuey Tiaw (stir fried flat rice noodles) was tasteless and oily, albeit obviously blacked with soy sauce. The Singapore styled black pepper noodles was definitely not lacking in pepper, but was enough to send my tastebuds packing. Seriously, all the other senses that ones has on the tongue was complete obliterated by the pepper this horrible dish. Does this restaurant own shares in a pepper plantation??

What else can we say? Nasi Goreng – a tasteless combination of rice and vegetables and a waste of raw produce to be honest. Someone on our table had Pad Thai, which was quite average and not up to standard and the chicken curry with rice (£8 for the curry and an additional surcharge of £2 for rice) was also average. Oh, and not forgetting we shared half a duck, which was a very poor substitute for duck from Four Seasons or Magic Wok on Queensway. If you want duck, save your money and endure the queue for these places. Trust me, your tastebuds will thank me.

After the last bite was taken (of whatever we could still stomach), two orders were placed for Ice Kachang (the Malaysian dessert with shaved ice, syrup and other fruits). We waited. And waited. And waited for about 20 minutes. The restaurant wasn’t completely full and waiters were seen loitering around but one can only assume that the kitchen need more staff. We were on the verge of walking out when they came I was ready and fed up. The good news was that the desserts were quite nice but again, not as cheap as other places.

Finally, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. During the wait for desserts, I made the fatal error of visiting the facilities. OH MY GOD. Disgusting isn’t the word for it. All 3 toilets had packed up and were overfilling onto the floor. I was absolutely horrified and what’s more horrifying was that after I informed the staff, they were quite nonchalant about it and no one seemed to want to attend to it. Peoples, it was OVERFILLING onto the floor.

Yes, this is a harsh review and given that this restaurant has just opened, teething problems are to be expected. Despite their sewage problems (which can be fixed relatively easily), this is one restaurant where the old adage of not judging a book by its cover holds true. C&R Bayswater looks great but the quality of the food and overall value for money is a major let down. With the plethora of Chinese restaurants around the area (Four Seasons, Mandarin Kitchen, Magic Wok just to name a few), C&R will have to pull up their socks to compete.

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TOH

MISATO - update

2005-05-24T11:13:00.000+01:00

We revisited the sumo wrestlers fav restaurant. Check out our update at Misato

KING’S ARMS

2005-05-24T10:09:00.000+01:00

96 Wandsworth High St, London, SW18 4LB
Tel: 020 8874 1428

Nearest Tube: Wandsworth Town BR station

Average price per person: £13 (for two courses and an alcoholic drink)

I have to admit I was very skeptical upon trying this gastro pub. For weeks on end I’ve been told that I had to try the food at this pub – upper end food for ridiculously low prices. Indeed. We’ll see.

The pub is very inconveniently located in a remote part of Wandsworth. Not at all near any other restaurants. Upon entering, it looked like any other locals’ pub. Old furniture. Slightly smelly carpet. Telly on in the corner, a few middle aged people enjoying a chatter and a pint. Not at all a glamorous setting for a gastro pub.

A separate section of the pub is kept aside for food. A few wooden tables and chairs – very basic. To the back of the room you can see two chefs chatting away in the open kitchen – not at all busy. There was no one else eating on this Tuesday night. Fair enough. We had to get our own menus and order our own food and drink from the friendly staff behind the bar. A blackboard proclaimed the specials of the day.

The waitress came unexpectantly and gave us a complimentary bread board with four slices of generously portioned bread. Two were plain and the other two had streaks of what tasted like jam. Both were gorgreous dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

For drinks two of us had a Bloody Mary. Establishements can do either one of two things here – put too much tobasco in the beverage so that you’re on the toilet the next day with your anus on fire going “that Bloody Mary!” or put too little tobasco leaving you holding the drink in disgust going “I have to drink this Bloody Mary?” This pub got it exactly right. I was intrigued by the floating yellow bits in the drink. It tasted like meat – but in a good way. I asked the waitress. “Fresh horseradish” she replied. Beautiful – it’s the simple touches that make the difference,

Four of us were dining and decided to share two soups. There was only one soup – curried veges and mint yoghurt (£4.00). It sounded off the planet and maybe a little hit and miss. My other three companions had eaten here before and swore by the soup. Not the same, as the menu seems to change daily. The soups arrived and were attractively dribbled with olive oil. It was deep green and the aromas were heavenly. The taste was heavy, spicy and creamy – the curry taste not at all overpowering but perfectly married with the mint yoghurt. A truly enjoyable experience.

I had the Eggs Benedict Royal (£7.00) which came perfectly presented and cooked accompanied with smoked salmon and hollandaise sauce. When poked, golden streams of runny egg yolk casacaded down and lovingly bathed my smoked salmon. I sighed in unison to the rhythmic churn as my gastric juices eagerly devoured the combination.

The Man reckons he can spot a good risotto blind-folded and with his tongue excoriated with acid. He choose the not too shabby pan-fried sea bream, coriander risotto, sweet chilli and lime dressing (£7.00). When it arrived I was immediately envious. Food you can taste with your eyes. He reported that the fish was perfectly cooked although the risotto was a tad undercooked. No matter…it was still delicious and creamy.

The prince consort choose the traditional burger, bacon, cheese and chunky chips (£7.00). Sounds boring and run-of-the-mill but here is where the chef rose to the occasion. The beef patty oozed flavour and charisma. Laugh you may if you’ve never heard of a burger having charisma – but charisma it had. The chunky chips I can safely proclaim to be only second best to The Ship. No mean feat.

The Other Hag had the other traditional dish. It translated into Cumberland sausages, creamy mash with home fried onions. In reality and to most people, it can be easily understood as “bangers and mash”. Surely the kitchen couldn’t possibly construct another visual and culinary symphony to be devoured? They did and with style. The mound of potato mash was topped with thorny rings of fried onion. These weren’t ordinary onion rings either. I had to stop myself snatching these precious rings from the Other Hag’s plate. Extra crunch and oh so tasty.

We probably should have ordered desserts in the name of research. I’m pretty sure that they would have been non-too shabby. But our bellies were stretched and we were gasping for air. This kitchen excels at displaying ordinary fare and reeling your senses into a 360. It spits out fresh produce with much thought given to contrasting textures and flavours. The head chef should be applauded. I’m only surprised at the lack of customers, although it was a Tuesday night. I can only imagine that the location would hinder the pub’s popularity. We stumbled out into the cold air and realised we didn’t have any immediate transportation home. Don’t try to flag a taxi down. We tried for 15 minutes then gave up. The bus eventually comes after a patient wait. If I had only one breath left to give advice – try the soup and bring the car.

HRH

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TAI WON MEIN NOODLE HOUSE

2005-05-21T10:14:00.000+01:00

39-41 Greenwich Church St, London, SE10 9BL
Tel: 020 8858 1668

Average price per person: £5 (including non-alcoholic drinks)

Nearest Tube: Cutty Sark for Greenwich Maritime DLR (1 minute walk)

Well this is certainly a welcomed blast from the past. Back when we were living in Surrey Quays, this used to be a popular haunt. I’m sad to say, that even though Greenwich looks quaint and cute, the restaurants there are terrible. Nothing good to say about any of them except for this one.

We have fond memories for this noodle house. This is where we met The Other Hag and The Man for the first time. Arhhhhhh. Sigh. Yes this is where our culinary adventures blossomed, only later to be documented for your reading pleasure. The Gastro Hag and her partner were also there, but they have since left London’s cloudy shores for sunnier options abroad. Check out Gastro Hag’s website all the way from sunny Perth.

This informal restaurant is based on the concept of huge portions at ultra-low prices. Large benches seat about 8 people, so be prepared to share your table with strangers. I have to say I was a little shocked at how the cleaniness of the place has plumetted. Yes they are extremely busy, but it’s still no excuse. The toilet looks like a drug addict’s shoot-up parlour in some random dodgy park. I only just managed to refrain from taking a photo of it.

The prince consort and myself arrived there about 2pm and the place was hoppping with activity. The place was full of office workers, students and tourists. We were seated to a bench with food-stained paper menus used as mats. No matter. The food is what we came for. The menu is extensive and covers soup noodles, egg noodles, rice noodles and fried rice. Each section has the usual options of beef, chicken, pork, duck and seafood. I haven’t been there for a while and was amazed at the prices. Prices ranged from £3.10 to £3.90 for each dish. Yes, it was that cheap.

My fried duck egg noodles came steaming hot straight from the wok. The portions were gargantuan sumo-wrestler sized portions with generous amounts of tender duck and veges. I highly recommend this dish.

The prince consort had fried rice noodles with pork and chicken. Also good but he wouldn’t go for this dish again.

I can never finish a dish here by myself and asked for a take-away box. They charge 50 pence for this. An expense I reckon is reasonable especially when the price of the dish is so low and is enough to feed two hungry people. I thoroughly recommend any homeless people reading this blog to try this place out. Unbelievable value for money.

Not a place to linger and languish. Get in, scoff it down, then get out. Hope they improve their standards of hygiene though.

HRH

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MALAYSIAN KOPI TIAM

2005-05-21T09:05:00.000+01:00

9 Wardour St, London, W1D 6PF
Tel: 020 7434 1777

Nearest Tube: Piccadilly Circus

Average price per person: £10 (including non-alcoholic drinks)

Looking for near enough authentic Malaysian food at reasonable prices? Need a quick meal with fast, efficient service? Look no further. This brightly coloured shop-front is extremely popular with Malaysians and other people from all walks of life. The prices are such that it’s a popular haunt for students. The interior is basic but functional. As you enter in, they have a counter displaying all kinds of Malaysian desserts and packages of pre-cooked food you can take-away.

On this particular day, all we wanted was for somewhere to go for coffee and a morning snack. A perfect place to go as Kopi Tiam means “coffee shop”. We ordered three Kopis which is basically coffee made out of condensed milk. Much sweeter and rich in nature compared to English style coffee.

We didn’t want to stuff our faces silly as we were hanging out to go to Misato next door. We ordered chicken feet, yam cakes and rojak. It was certainly tempting to order more.

Even though I’m not a fan of chicken feet, this was quite tasty. Marinated well giving it a vinegary and sweet taste sensation. It wasn’t presented in the usual ‘intact chicken feet’ way, in that you could eat it quite happily and be oblivious that you were eating someone else’s feet.

The yam cakes were also delicious with fried onion on top, but not as scrumptious as the turnip paste cakes you get at dim sum.

I’m not an expert on rojak so it’s quite hard to be critical on this popular dish. For those who haven’t a clue what this it, rojak is bascially salad. I think what constitutes a bad rojak from a kick ass one is the sauce. This rojak consisted of cucumbers, pineapple and tofu. The sauce is treacle like in consistency and is suppose to contain dried shrimp paste (belacan), sugar, chili, thick soy sauce and other spices. Crushed peanuts are added for extra texture. The sauce ends up tasting entirely unique in a sweetish, spicy, and maybe a little fishy way. It’s a great tasty light starter dish and very refreshing for the palate.

We’ve been to Kopi Tiam heaps of times and have tried many of their dishes which include chicken rice (above average), beef rendang, curry laska (not great), nasi goreng, bah kut teh, nasi lemak (good but the chicken portions are stingy), kari mee (not bad) and much more. They also have a great dessert menu including the ever present ice kachang which comes in massive proportions, ice cendol, bo bo cha cha, sago pudding etc.

A brilliant place for affordable, down-to-earth Malaysian food. All main dishes price between £5 to £6. Certainly compared to Malaysia not the most authentic. But hey, this is London and we certainly can’t be fussy. You can be certain of having a tasty meal and drink here for under a tenner.

HRH

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