KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS

Krispy Kreme’s website



On our way to a Korean restaurant in New Malden we stumbled across a miracle. It was like a spiritual awakening complete with a trumpeting fanfare and frolicking angels. Out of nowhere a massive Krispy Kreme complex shimmered into being. With a brutal tug of the wheel we screeched into the parking lot, complete with the smell of burning tyres. The notion of a Krispy Kreme only 10 minutes drive away from where I live was a startling and intoxicating notion to me. Woosy and with a thumping heart we drove up to their drive-thru speaker. Yes, they have a drive-thru!

A crisp, clean voice greeted us over the speaker. Tiger Wee, the man of the hour, hesitantly spoke back. “Give us a bit of time”. “Certainly” replied the cheery metal threshing that was the speaker box. What proceeded then was a heated discussion as to what we should order. We unanimously decided on the 12 doughnut box for £13.20. After a much longer period of squawking and changing our minds we settled on 3 varieties – chocolate iced custard filled, chocolate iced cream filled and powdered blueberry filled.



On the gargantuan box in which the doughnuts come in, it authoritatively informs you that it can be heated just for 8 seconds in the microwave on high power. Oh…the results are extremely gratifying. I had thick warm sweet cream oozing out of the doughnut and down my chin every time I took a bite out of it. Comforting carbs paradise.



It may or may not be surprising to you – but we revisited the Gates of Heaven once again – within 24 hours of the first visit. This time we went inside and ooohed and arrrhed at the vast array of doughnuts they had on display. Original or chocolate glazed; powdered; granulated sugar coated. Cream, custard, apple and cinnamon, blueberry, strawberry, raspberry, dulce de leche cream fillings. Hole or no hole.



They also serve the perfect accompaniment. Coffee, frozen blends and flavoured milk. Yes your teeth will no doubt NOT thank you 5 years down the track. But what the hey?



It certainly is a relief and a weight off the shoulders to finally discover a Krispy Kreme near to where we live. Previously the only one I was aware of was the one in Harrod’s food basement. It’s ridiculous. People line up for at least half an hour on the pavement outside just to get their fat fingers into some luscious, sticky, finger-lickin’ doughnuts. My American friend Aric came over and he couldn’t believe such a trashy place was in, none the less, idolised in a place like Harrods.

Yes I am ashamed to revere the fat flag-ship of America. Surely what’s good for Americans is not good for us. But damn it, it sure tastes good! There are now 8 Krispy Kreme outlets around London. As we roly-poly down to work taking extra care not to chafe our thighs, we can hold our double-chins high and be secure in the knowledge…(pause)…actually there are no comforting thoughts of wisdom. Damit…why does it have to be so close to where we live? The Man will understand this – now the Pandora’s deep-fat fryer’s seal has been broken.

HRH
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